Prinsesa sa Tasa Chronicles

Teach other people how to treat you.

2010-09-23T06:49:00.000-07:00

This is the lesson I've learned after a disaster took place last Sunday.

I was having my photoshoot for my finals. We were required to do seven looks on which we should spend an hour for each. What I did was, made a schedule that would consist of 45 minutes per look. Things didn't turned out as planned. My model acted as if she knew make up more than I do. As I apply a product on her face, she keeps on complaining that her skin was uneven. She even told me that, " I've been in this indutry for 16 years, kaya alam ko kung sino yung maganda o panget na mag make up. " Hearing these words make me want to strangle her. But then I again, I tried act professional as I could. I gave her the sponge and asked her to go to the comfort room to conceal all the flaws in her face. She did as she was told. Then, I worked on my other models.

I was in the middle of my fourth look, when she entered the room and insisted that I redo the her make up. I asked her to go directly to the studio. Then, my aunt told me that she was talking to my teacher. I entered the studio when my teacher told me to go back to the make up lab and continue with my work. Then, they continued to have their private conversation. To make matters worse, she was calling my mom pala and make sumbong how terrible my work was. Then she told my aunt that she doubts if I would finish all the seven looks. I went to the CR and cried, then this model came and told me that it is okay to quit. I wiped my tears and told her, "No, I won't quit."

At the end of the day, I was able to finish all of them, hindi nga lang pulido. Well, at least, I proved her wrong. For all I know, that b*tch is going down.

Love? in time of cholera

2010-05-07T21:14:00.000-07:00

I hope that this title would be apt for whatever I'm writting.

Yes, I'm heart broken right now because: I lost my father then, I realized that I fell for a person who's not even worth it.

The first one is painful, the second one is even more. What consoles me is that i still have friends around who loves for who i am. I thought, i'm one of those lucky girls who'll found their prince. Unfortunately, I didn't.
Shucks, I fell for someone, whom i thought will be there. but he's not.

he's not man enough. I resent the fact that i even met him. grabe, the feeling sucks.

i can't even talk to him right now. i just cant.

Musings of a 'Princess' Wannabe 3: Detour

2010-03-31T14:11:00.000-07:00

Detour

This coming April, I was about to enroll for a make-up artistry class. A dream come true, isn't it? When my Dad told me that he would shoulder everything, I was never been happier. I was excited looking forward on my first day. I even imagined myself working for runways...

Unexpected happened.

My dream came into halt when my Dad was rushed last week to the hospital because of heart attacks. Everything fell apart. Obviously, I won't be able to enroll anymore because the money would be alloted for his hospitalization. I was devastated.

Honestly, my faith got challenged. I felt like God dangled a lollipop in front of my face and yanked it back. In other words, I can't help but make 'tampo' to him. I was at a point where I was already standing up and making new dreams, then this happened.

But, as they say, God has a way. Up to this point, I'm trying to understand why this happened. I guess, God wants me to teach me something.
I mean, I was not a Daddy's girl. Ironic isn't it? But I was not really that close to him.

Probably, this is God's way of reinkindling my relationship with him. Though my Dad is by nature, an inexpressive person. I don't mind at all. Ako na lang ang magbibigay for him.

I don't let God do the walking for me. I step my feet on the ground even if I don't feel like waking up. What keeps me going the thought that, I have friends who never fails to show their compassion on me.

As for my dream, it could wait. Besides, there's a time for everything. For the moment, I have to focus on other things that are more important. My family.

Musings of a 'Princess' Wannabe

2010-02-02T20:24:00.000-08:00

On writting my First Novel

I love attending weddings and listening about how the couples met because I never had a chance to write a love story of my own. I never had a happy ending in real life, that's what inspired me to write my first novel, " Prinsesa sa Tasa". It's a story about taking chances, moving on, and forgiveness. So far, it's a depiction of my life. Most parts of the story were based on my real life experiences. The story may be classified as a chic lit or a teeny bopper, but definitely not a rip off of some paper back romance. In other words, it's original. It took me five years to write this. Actually, PST started as a school paper for our Communications Class in College. We were asked to write our love story, using different tenses. I had fun doing it because it was an open-ended story. Just like in real life, I had my fair share of open-ended stories. I was graduating then, and I'm going through a lot of struggles that time from my family to my academic life. I went through an emotional turmoil. I underwent counselling and found out that I was depressed. Those times were hard because I felt that everything in my life fell apart. Then, it came to a point that I need to put back the pieces again because I still wanted to move on with my life.

What I did was I re-wrote that story that I made. Everytime I'm revising Prinsesa sa Tasa, I experience gamut of emotions since most parts, as I've said before were based on my real life experiences. But, after that, I felt relieved. Right now, I'm still revising it and I hope finish soon. I can't wait to have a happy ending, even it's only written in my blog.

On Real life

After graduation, I admit that I haven't found my place in the sun, yet. But, I don't want to go back to my previous emploments due to my traumatic experiences in the corporate world. At the age of 25, I don't want to admit that I'm going through a quarter life crisis, because, I'm not.
After I turned twenty five, I began to plan my personal and professional life. And, I can say that I'm more driven compared to by earlier years because, I'm making things happen a step at a time.

Yes, I'm fine with who I am even if I know that there were still things that I need to work on myself. I'm also in a stage where I'm not bothered whether I'm in a relationship or not, probably because I'm more assured with myself now than before. But, still, being a human as I am, I still hope for 'that person' to find me. I find it funny that my family, and friends wished for the same thing. Instead of sulking in despair, I make it to a point to enjoy my life while waiting.
I believe that I'm doing that.
Unexpected things happened. Recently, the guy that I liked in high school, who was rude to me, added me on face book. Then, he began to chat with me. This was very unusual because, we never had a decent conversation in the first place. Honestly, he was one of the reasons why I never looked forward to our high school reunion.Needless to say,I don't have good memories to look back. Anyway, I really wanted to avoid him that night. But actually, before, I was telling myself that when I had a chance to meet him, I would become maldita or b*tchy. Apparently, the opposite happened, I was actually nice to him. I felt that God is telling me to forgive that person and move on with my life. I believe, he is teaching me the lesson and the power of forgiveness. After talking to that guy, I was relieved and happy at the same time, that at least, he was, for a moment, became kind to me. After all these years, I never thought that it would happen. I'm glad it did. This experience taught me that I have to get rid of my hurtful past and start living the present. I believe that God is not interested on what I am before, but on what I'm going to be. Bo Sanchez, one of my favorite authors said that, "God wants to bless us with abundance and great relationships, we just need to open our hearts". I agree.

JC TIUSECO: Ang laki ng ulo mo!

2009-10-10T14:30:00.000-07:00

Enough said. I was really turned off with the guy's gesture last night.

I went to a certain Expo on which the guy was one of the guest performers. I was a huge fan of him after winning in a reality show and after watching his soap for a couple of months. I began to have an impression of him that he's the gentleman type. The kind of guy that I like. Apparently, I was wrong.

After his performance, some of us went backstage to chance upon, and hopefully take our pictures of him. When he stepped outside the tent, all of us were calling him. He's just three feet away from us, so i doubt if he won't hear his fans yelling. He passed as if he heard nothing. I was like, "What the heck?! Ang feeling mo."
He made his fans look stupid.

After that, I swear, I began to loathe him. I can't do anything about it and my only consolation is that I can blog about it and let everyone know how 'arrogant' he was. I mean, what was he thinking? He's just starting his showbiz career and acted as if he bagged awards from FAMAS to snub his fans like that. I would understand if Gabby Concepcion would do that, at least he's a famed actor.

One thing I've realized is that he's like those stars who just earned a certain amount of popularity and let it go through their head. It's lame and, should I say, 'Pathetic'.

Para kay DoorMatt

2009-09-04T00:59:00.000-07:00

Omigosh, hindi ka talaga nakaka-tuwa. Nalulungkot ako sa mga mabibiktima mo, mabuti na lang at habang maaga, nakita ko na ang tunay na kulay mo. Sana ma-realize mo ung mga ka-bolahang ginagawa mo. Bago ka magtext ng sweet nothings sa iba, lalo na pag english, kindly check the Grammar Book first, nang di ka mapahiya. Don't flatter yourelf, dahil hindi ka naman kamukha nila Prince William or Heath Ledger para mag feeling. Anyway, this video is for you. Enjoy!

I saw the sign

2009-07-13T01:21:00.000-07:00

To: ____

Natauhan na po ako. Di na mauulit.
Sorry

The other side of Mabahague

2009-07-09T09:08:00.000-07:00

Stiff, Serious, and Snobbish are the best way to describe Sir Ernie. He's one of the professors that I liked the least in college. Honestly, his classes were intellectually stimulating but becomes dragging in the middle. Yes, he's good looking, but he's not my type at all. I usually go for guys who's taller than me.

Last Tuesday, I've seen the other side of him. We took the same fx on the way to Trinoma from UST. The moment that he hopped inside the fx, I called him and introduced myself as a former student. To my surprise, he offered to pay for our fare.Then, we began to converse about our batch, the latest happening in the university, and our travel experiences. I even shared to him one of my batchmate's embarassing experiences during graduation. He laughed. This is my first time to see him like that. He's not the usual temperamental professor we had in college.

"Sir, tumatawa ka pala" I told him
"Siyempre naman, tao din naman ako noh." he replied chuckling.

Indeed, first impressions are not always correct.

Si Renz Kasi

2009-07-04T08:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, the title would be perfect for this entry.

I've been bothered for the past weeks because of what my brother did.
(Assumption lang)He just told the guy that I liked that I'm taken already.
Kaya ngayon, wala nang paramdam yung tao. It sucks to realize that ako ang naipit with what Renz did. Right now, I wanted to say the P word, but I can't.

I rarely feel this way, kaya it's sooo sayang.

One lesson that I've learned, never trust kids!

Omoshiro Japan!

2009-05-29T21:08:00.000-07:00

Omoshiro (Amusing/Interesting), the best word to describe Japan. Last May 4, 2009 I went to Tokyo. I spent ten days touring around the city by train. From food to fashion, one can't wait to go back. This is my first time to step out of the country and I was really glad that I've been in one of the most expensive cities in the world.

how i wish...

2009-04-30T17:41:00.000-07:00

Prince and me is one of my favorite romantic flicks. Though cheesy, it keeps me inspired to make my dreams turn into reality,and hopefully meet 'Aldo'

Lifehouse-Everything

2009-04-26T09:34:00.000-07:00

Goodbye Spanky

2009-04-26T09:23:00.001-07:00

Goodbye Spanky

2009-04-26T08:23:00.000-07:00

Spanky was given to us by a family friend when I was in first year high school. I can still remember how hyper he was back then. Ang kulit nya, sobra. I got pissed most of the time because he was fond of biting my shoes. I can't recall how many pairs he damaged.
But, when he got older, his behavior changed. That was the time when I began to love him.
One time, I was looking for my pair of socks outside our house. I was so getting impatient because I can't really find it. Spanky suddenly crawled under the pile of basins, then I yelled, "Wag mong guluhin yan!" Then, he came out with my socks and gave it to me. Indeed, a dog is a man's best friend.Another experience that I would never forget about Spanky was when I had fight with my Dad, I stepped outside and cried. I decided to hug him, and he licked my my right cheek. I was really touched. On that moment, I've learned that dogs probably know how to sympathize. They can sense that there's something wrong.
They say that dogs and cats fight. It happens, but not in our home. My aunt gave us two cats last year.I'm afraid that Spanky might kill them. The next thing I know, he began playing with them.

Haaay, I wanted to write so much about this dog, but I guess that this blog entry would be enough to express how much I'll miss him.

I'm not really a pet lover. But, Spanky taught me how to love creatures like him.

Goodbye Spanky.

A Random Thought

2009-04-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

They say, your room is an extension of yourself. It reflects your personality. For me, it represents your present state of mind or your life in general.

Three years had passed after my graduation and I felt that I'm still on the same ground. In other words, nothing significant happened in my life. It was stagnant. Just like my cluttered room, I have so many things that I wanted to do with my life. It's just that I don't know what step I'll take. Shucks, I'm really confused.

I've been agonizing for months and it dawned to me that I have to start somewhere. I was a dreamer once and I want to get my life back on track. My mom can't say that I have focus.
I want to live the life that I wanted. Really.

A fan of Q&A

2009-04-22T21:51:00.000-07:00

1. Are you dating the last person you kissed?
No.

2. Pretend you've had 10 beers. Describe what you would be doing.
Drinking a hot cup of tea and eating a banana. I hate throwing up

3. What do you want?
To make my plans happen.

4. Who was the last person you shared a bed with?
None.

5. Do you talk to yourself?
Sometimes =))

6. Do you drink milk straight from the carton?
No, that's stupid

7. Who knows a secret or two about you?
Julie and Tseri

8. How long is your hair?
Below shoulders

9. Do you like Batman?

No, he's pretty hilarious:)

10. Who did you last hug?
My cat Peggy

12. Do you swear at your parents?
Yes.

13.Do you like anyone?
Yes ;)

14. When was the last time you lied?

Yesterday

15. When was the last time you cried?
Ewan. :P

16. Is your birthday on a holiday?
No, but it's a week before christmas

17. What instant messaging service do you use?
Y!M.

18. Last thing you cooked today?
Ampalaya with Magic Sarap..Yum!

19. Did you have a nap today?
Nope

20. Who's house did you go to last?
My cousin's

21. What are you currently listening to?
I'm feeling you by Michelle Branch

22. Why is the sky blue?

Because it complements the color of the sea.

23. Do you like green beans?
Yes

24. Do you swear a lot?
Yes

25. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?

From my closet

26. Have any regrets?
Yes.

27. Do you use an alarm clock?
Yes.

28. Where and when was your default MySpace picture taken?
From a scanned studio picture

29. What kind of camera do you have?
Canon.

30. Whats the first thing you notice on the preferred sex?
Ears (I know it's weird), eyes and teeth.

31. Is cheating ever okay?
No.

32. Do you want someone you can't have?

34. Do you wear underwear?
Of course! Wholesome ata ako

35. Who would you like to see right now?
Sam or Aldo.

36. How many baller IDs do you have?
Two

37. Are you a social or antisocial person?
Social :)

38. Did you ever like a teacher?
Yes, wayback in highschool from my upcat review class.

39. Would you ever drink tap water?
No.

40. What's something you regret?
Not saying the right words at the right time

41. Do you like garter head bands?
yes

42. How about plastic ones?
yes, but it depends on the design

43. What radio station(s) do you listen to?
Jam 88.3, and sometimes Wrock

45. Are you afraid of the dark?
Yes

46. What's your mouse pad?
Korean something

47. Do you miss someone today?
Yes!

48. Do you know what AWOL means/stands for?
Absence without leave, parang ganun

49. Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?
No, i burned all of them

Kapalit ni Sam

2009-04-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

It's a good thing that my blog is not popular. But, I still have to be discreet about what I'm going to write.

For the past few weeks, I have been struggling to forget Sam because I know that my attraction with him won't get me anywhere. One day, I woke up from the reality that I should know where I should know where I stand.

I keep telling myself:

"Gusto ko siyang kalimutan!"

I don't know where to start until I saw his video

Naaliw ako bigla. Then, it dawned to me that I should not get stuck with one person, if I would meet others naman. O di ba? quits lang

Tungkol kay Sam ulit

2009-04-11T04:12:00.000-07:00

I seldom meet interesting people in my life. Being attracted to them was not reason why they were interesting, but because of their 'Personal Legend'.
Personal Legend as Paulo Coelho defines as "the path that God chose for you here on earth."

I guess, Sam already found it. Mabuti pa siya.

I wanted to conduct an interview with him, but I guess I don't need to because someone already did. But that's okay, at least I won't be guessing who he really was. What made him interesting is
his mission. They say that many are called but few are chosen. For me, he's one of the chosen few. Not all of us would brave Mindanao, and he did.

I seldom meet people like him, that's why I took this chance to write an entry for Sam. After having a short conversation with him, I realized that I should surround myself with people who inspire others. People living for someone higher that themselves. That's how I know Sam. That's one of the quality that I want to emulate.

I'm looking forward on having more contemplative conversations with him. I won't let my attraction lead to somewhere. I promise. I'll just see him as a brother in Christ and nothing more.

Para sa dating pag ibig

2009-04-09T00:44:00.000-07:00

Ok, magpka-teenager tayo!

2009-04-09T00:03:00.000-07:00

Isang pag-hanga kay Sam

2009-03-28T21:16:00.000-07:00

On my previous entries, i was mentioning about this person who's older than me. I would never reveal who this person was. Let's just call him Sam.

I seldom got attracted to the opposite sex because of my painful experiences in the past. Most of the guys I've met are jerks. In other words, the knight in shining armor that I hoped to meet turned out to be a loser wrapped in a tin foil. Naka-dala. Sobra.

At this point, I'm happy with or without a special someone. Well, I'm not closing my doors naman, it's just a matter of protecting myself from getting hurt for the wrong reasons. I'm trying to establish non-romantic relationships with guys and I'm focusing on the things that I truly wanted without a guy's influence.

I keep telling to my friends that I don't want to get distracted and that I won't allow anyone to get in my way. One day, it was about to change, I saw Sam. Kinumusta nya ako as he flashed his killer smile. No matter how dense I am towards the opposite sex, I still have weakness for this. Sorry, tao lang. At that moment,I mutterd, "Shucks, ang gwapo niya.I've never seen him for years." I know that I sound like a fifteen year old who's getting attracted with someone. But, let's face it, we were like teenagers during moments like this. No matter how old we are, we would still get giddy at times.

I know that there's nothing wrong with getting attracted to person like him. He's good looking and witty, definitely a no non-sense guy. He's way different from the guys that I've met.
The only thing is that, he's commited to serve God for the rest of his life. Two years ago, he made his vow of celibacy. Basta, yun na yun. Of course, as a twenty-four year old gal, I have to be responsible for my actions. I won't let attraction to rule my actions towards him. I'll put it this way, I'll just see him as a monoblock chair. Just like my Philosophy professor in college said, "Kulay lang siya". So, ganun na lang, para quits.

I've had comic encounters with him. The first one was during a mass when I came from a drinking session with my college friends. That time, I'm not an SFC yet. I could walk straight but my but brain can't. I know that he was about to approach me. I suddenly knelt down, closed my eyes, clasped my hands, and pretendened to pray. I was suprised to find out that he would officiate the mass that I was going to attend. I tried to concentrate but I can't because of my dizziness. During the homily, tinamaan ako. He was pointing out to the youth. Sam said this with conviction, "Sana kayong kabataan, hindi lang puro gimik, 'inom', bisyo ang ina-atupad niyo. Sana mag-serve din kayo." That time, I told myself, "Nang-aasar ba 'to? Para kasing mag-aaklas." After the mass, I went home.
The next one just happened yesterday. Before he blessed our house, we ate breakfast. I accidentally spilled a glass of water. I loudly said "Ay! #@$%!. He was shocked and my mom's eyes rolled. I know that she was embarassed for me. That moment, I cringed. "Sorry, I'm only human." I said in a 'jologs' way. When I told this to some of my friends, they bursted with laughter. I don't know why, it's just so weird.

At this point, I know where I stand. I know that I would just be a distant admirer forever. Ayoko nang ipilit ang sarili ko sa kanya because he belongs to God. For sure, this feeling will pass. But, I like what I'm feeling right now, so might as well, enjoy it di ba? The advantage of being distant is having less chances of screwing things up. The best thing about this is that I could blog about him anytime I want and I would never had to worry that he would read this. Kasi nga,hindi kami close.

Things are better this way. After all, I don't want to have a pinoy version of El Crimen del Padre Amaro. Bad yun.

Kasi Naman

2009-03-24T09:09:00.000-07:00

For the past few weeks, I realized that God challenged me.

I kept saying to myself and to my friends that "I don't want to get distracted by a person". Until, this guy enters the scene and caught my attention. I won't go over the details because I made a previous entry about him already.
Now, I understand why I'm not comfortable with the idea of getting attracted with someone. Here are my reasons: 1)I've had experiences in the past when a certain guy played with my feelings. 2) I fear that they might be taken already (I hope not). 3) I don't want these things to happen again.

What I really wanted to happen is to get close to him, without any romantic overtures. I don't know if this would really happen, bahala na si God. Gosh, I wanted to get over him so badly.

But this time, I'll do this differently. I'll face this with courage. After all, God is here to back me up.

Si Ate Nina

2009-03-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this entry after we gave our surprise celebration to her. Her birthday is actually next week, but we decided to celebrate it earlier.

I can't help but feel happy for this person, Ate Nina is like a sister that I never had. I would never forget what she said to me when she asked me to continue the last four talks of CLP (Christian Life Program). During that time, I tried to withdraw from the community because of what took place in our family. I felt that I don't deserve to be part of that group. Needless to say, I don't have a face to show them.
I've missed four talks, and that time, I thought that, wala siguro silang pakialam.
Apparently, I was wrong.

Ate Nina texted me and asked if we could meet at one place. I gave it a chance.
She asked me if I'm willing to continue CLP. I told her that I was not really certain about it. I cannot forget what she said to me at that moment, "Sayang. Alam mo, gusto ka namin kasama." I was moved when I heard these words. I was not close to her that time, but I knew that she was a sincere person. Then, I also realized that you would seldom hear these from people. I find it hard to trust people because of my past experiences. But with her, I took the chance.

That time,I saw God's human face through her.
Earlier, when we did our 'honoring', I realized how she touched other people. In other words, she is a blessing to us. Kuya Vheen, her boyfriend ,told us that of all the things that we said to her, he knew that he is with the right girl. If I'm going to hear this line from a special someone, I would probably be the happiest person on earth.

A kind-hearted person like Ate Nina deserves to be treated like a princess for a day.

Home

2009-03-21T07:37:00.000-07:00

They say "Home" is where you feel a sense of acceptance and I don't think I have it. For years, I tried to justify that my family was just not expressive,that they love me and accept me for who I really am.
I guess, I was wrong because I feel the brokenness now. Even if Dad moved abroad, I can still feel the pain that their separation caused us. I can vividly recall when he became cold to me on my graduation. When I tried to embrace him, he moved away. I tried to reach out to him, but he was so distant. I was never treated as a Daddy's girl, he never told me that I was beautiful.
Well, I don't say that my Dad is the only one responsible for their separation. My Mom too, has her share. She tried to be perfect mom or the superwoman. She often equates love on material things. She may be hands on to us when we were young,but I was emotionally detached to her. I find it hard to express my emotions, because whenever I do so, she would often say that I wallow myself in pity.
I grew up having a love-hate relationship with her. It was really confusing. There were times when I feel secured. But, when she scold me or beat me up, I got scared.
She has this high of hitting us whenever she got pissed or angry. Dad too, did this to us. For them, it's a way of discipline. For me, it was a form of abuse because it causes trauma.
I'm not claiming that I'm a perfect child. In fact, I'm way far from it. I admit that I also have my shortcomings. But, there's one thing that I didn't do, I never rebelled against them. I didn't do drugs or any thing that could damage myself. Instead, I sought help from God because I can't do this alone.
I believe that he has a way to make things straight.
I wanted to experience what it feels like to belong in a family someday because I believe that a person's greatest asset is to have group of people that affirms you.
I wanted to feel like home again.

Dyahe

2009-03-06T07:11:00.000-08:00

"Dyahe" in Filipino means something that makes a person uncomfortable to reveal.

This word would be apt for this entry.

Right now, I have something that I wanted to share but felt uneasy to do so. I wanted to tell this to my friends, but I'm still itching to write it. What I'm going to disclose in this article was probable appropriate for teenagers. But for people in my age, I don't know.

For the past few weeeks, I caught myself attracted to this guy. The last time I saw him, I told myself, "He looks nice." I secretly glance at him from afar because I don't want to be mistaken as a "psycho" or "stalker".
I've had awkward moments with him and sometimes I wish that he would forget me soon.I've had bad experiences with those guys that I used to like. And this time, I wish that it won't happen again.

What makes me "dyahe" to reveal this is because he's ten years older than me. Feeling
ko nakak-karma ako. Before, I use to make "okray" about guys who were a decade older than me. I kept on telling my friends,"Ayoko yan, atat na yan magpa-kasal".
Shucks! I never thought that I would get attracted to this guy. How I wish that my emotions would change quickly, or sana na lang wala akong pakiramdam.
I admit, I want to get close to him or have the chance to work with him because I want to know this guy without romance. I find it easier to get close to a guy if I'm not attracted.

At this point, I wanted to talk to him. But I can't. "Dyahe" kasi if I'm going to make the first move. The best thing that I could do is blog about him. Mabuti na lang at hindi niya ako masyadong kilala. I'm sure that he won't read this.
.

Whatever happens it the future, bahala na si Batman

About jerks

2009-02-24T08:10:00.000-08:00

Indeed, things happen for a reason, probably to make us more mature.

I've had an awkward teenage life. I was the one who got teased a lot for being a wall flower. If my other classmates, would waive for popularity. I, on the other hand would not get bothered. You could see me in the corner, reading a book. That's how geeky I was back then. I was not a big joiner, so my social skills were limited.
Most of the guys, picked me up.(even those that I liked). I know the drill. First, they become friendly or pretended that they were attracted to you. When you got caught in their bait, they will drop you like a hot potato. They will make you feel stupid.
I've had countless experience on this and it took me a long time to figure out how I'm going to protect myself from them.

Last week, I had the chance to prove myself that I would not get trapped with them.
There was this guy. He was attractive, but not actually my type. He was a talent of a major network and making a name for himself. A struggling artist thing, so to speak. From the start, I know that he would not notice me. Apparently, I was wrong.
I was surprised when he texted me. Our conversation was one question, one answer. I was even more surprised when he asked me If I drink. It was awkward for me because we were not that close that he would text me like that. Sure, it was casual for him, but not for me. I told him the truth that I seldom drink because I'm allergic to alcohol. The good thing is that he was cool about it.

After responding to his question, I felt relieved. For the first time, I didn't pretend. I went straight to the point and it was not offensive on his part. Then, I realized that I was no longer alluded to their charms. I can easily sense if a guy is after something from me. Well, too bad for them because, I beg to differ. I'm conservative but not naive. For once, I proved to them that I was not gullible as I used to be.One thing I've learned is that most men are stupid and they want the obvious. I feel sorry for these guys.

I'm sure there were still good guys out there, but I'm afraid that they were rare.

My Cebu Experience

2009-02-22T15:43:00.000-08:00

I've attended ICON last Friday at Mandaue, Cebu and it was truly a memorable experience.

It was my first time to step go to that city, so everything was an Adventure. I can say that all of the travels that I've done, this was, so far, the most enjoyable one.

Pictures would be posted soon.

Gossip Girl

2009-01-21T07:51:00.000-08:00

I hope that this girl would get a life.

Ten years ago, she has victimized other students by spreading nasty rumors about them. She seemed to be domineering those days. One of the b*****est thing that she could do is to turn your friend against you, or worse, the guy that you like. Yes,she could pull some strings to get what she wanted. I admit, these things happened to me. Needless to say, I was one of her victims.

In this entry, I will not reveal her name or post her real picture because I know that it won't do any good. Or worse, it could be taken against me. Just because she did something to me, that doesn't mean that i'll do the same. Who wants her photo posted in public and become a subject of ridicule? No one, right?

I just wanted to express my thought about her and other gossip mongering people. I know that I need to understand why they behave the way they do. Probably, they yearn to get noticed or they were bored with their lame lives. Whatever the reason is, I won't let them victimize me again. It's not healthy. Really.

I have to let 'you' go

2008-12-02T23:56:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to move on from my past

Why I love Ugly Betty

2008-12-02T22:26:00.000-08:00

I've been an avid fan of this sitcom since it started..Well, let the video clip speak 4 itself.

As I carry my cross...

2008-11-28T04:35:00.000-08:00

Before, I'm always looking forward to Christmas. But now, I don't because it's just another ordinary day.

It was 2005, I'm a graduating student back then when I found out that my parents are going to separate. I thought I could handle it well, but I can't. As schoolwork piled up, so was my emotions. At first, my thesismates were compassionate and supportive. But just like other human beings, they grew tired of me. I only have myself to count on. Sometimes, I just like to quit. But, God always picked me up during my depressing moments. I consider it a miracle to graduate from college because, my grades were slipping down, and there was even a time when I walked out of the classroom for no apparent reason. One of my professors even told me that my performance was getting worse. Everyday was a struggle. Graduation came, my whole family was with me, but Dad became distant to us. I tried to embrace him, but he resisted. I don't even know why.

That was the time I began to despise christmas. Before, we used to gather for dinner, but now Dad (while he was still in the country) would play cards with his "kumpares", Mom would clean the house, my brothers don't give a damn. I, on the other hand would lock myself inside my room and read a book. I envy those people who have their family together. Sana ako rin.
I felt detached from my family. I maybe blessed with material things and other stuffs that I need. But,they don't even know what I really ask from them. Call me dramatic but, that's how I really feel inside-broken.

Despite of my brokeness, I still hold on to my personal relationship with God.

Dadating din ang araw mo

2008-10-19T08:45:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought that I've recovered from the past, a certain encounter would prove me that I'm wrong.

I thought that I've gotten over it, I mean the incident took place two years ago. But when we crossed paths again, I cringed. I suddenly remember how I felt that day when he humiliated me in front of a crowd.

I know that I should not make the first move, but I 'm just being friendly.

As soon as I began to approach him, I tried to strike a conversation. Being disinterested or annoyed by my presence, he flashed his phone in front of my face and texted. A few minutes later, he left me and said "Ghel, iwan muna kita ha, may nakalimutan kasi ako sa bahay eh." I just nodded. Those people at the back, shot me with dagger looks because, pina-singit lang ako dun.

At that moment, I felt that I was a JOKE, a big one. Because I allowed myself to be victimized by a jerk. That's the time when I began to experience the fear of getting emotionally attached with someone. I hate the feeling of being played with someone. I've had similar experiences, but this one hit me big time. Before, I tried to forgave that person and move on. But, this time, I'm really tired.

Sometimes, i just wanted to say things in front of his face. Gusto ko siyang murahin. But I really can't because it's been a long time. He might have forgotten about it already. Besides, most guys are insensitive and he's not an exemption. The best thing that I can do is that I can blog about and let other people know how horrible he was.

Honestly speaking, I find it hard to trust most of the guys that I've met.(I know it's weird). I would often doubt a person's intention towards me( even from someone that I like). One thing I've learned about this experience is that I should never let myself fall for a jerk that could make me blush.

For this person, you know who you are.... Dadating din ang araw mo.

You Know Who You Are

2008-07-22T01:31:00.000-07:00

Please, don't pretend that you're 'ALDO' because you will never be.......

Bore someone else....

From Francia's Blog

2008-02-28T02:38:00.000-08:00

1. When is the last time you held handswith someone?- eight years2. What should you be doing right now?- checking my multiply account3 . Have you ever crawled through awindow?- yes4. Where is your mom?- at home5 . Morning or night person?- morning6. What was the last movie you watched?- Little Black Book7. ...where?- at ho,e8. Any cool scars?- my newest scar from my grey jelly flats9. Things about the opposite/same sex you notice first:- smile10. What was the last cd you bought?- blank cd11 . Ever been in love?- yes..eight years ago12. What's something your friends makefun of you for?- late reactions13. What is your curfew?- 1 am14. Would you ever dye your hair red?- yes, but only streaks16. What's your worst personality flaw?- i worry too much17. What place would you most like to visit?- London1 8. Who's your best friend?- GOD19. Do you want a well paying job or ajob you enjoy?- both20. Do you wish to have the samefriends when you're older?-sure but of course i would love to have new friends too23. When were you last on the phone?- 3 hours ago25 . Do you like math?- nope26. What about history?- nope27. Have you ever seen 5 squirrels at one time?- nope28 . Can you touch your nose with your tongue?- nope,29. Do you have a brother?- yes, o3 of them30. Did your great granddad fight inthe civil war?- yes31. Who's your favorite person to talkto?- my batchmate john32. Have you ever used photobucket?- nope33. Do you like hugs?- sure34. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?- at the moment, none35. Do you want to be a doctor?- not in a million years36. Have you ever fallen asleep withgum in your mouth?- yes, when I was eight37. What do you do right before you go to bed?- pray and listen to my ipod afterwards38. Right when you get outta bed?- take a bath39. Do you love your parents?-yes40 . What music are you listening toright now:- So Perfect by MYMP41. Do you want to be famous?- yes for the right reasons42. Do you spend a lot of time thinkingabout life?- YES!43. Do you do your own laundry?- yes45. Do you believe in love?- yes, even if I failed a thousand times46. Ever want to sky dive?- yes47. When was the last time you got angry?- when I was not included in our departments meeting48. Are you addicted to MySpace?- nope49. Would you classify yourself as clever?- somehow50. What do you hate the most at the moment?- PMS

I'm Only Human

2008-02-18T03:25:00.000-08:00

To start with my entry, I would like to remove the persona that I portay in the workplace, in the community, and in my family. For now, I would like to be me with no pretentions at all.

I can say that I'm blessed with people that sees my worth, that I can see the human face of God.

I'm also blessed to have a parent that inspite my stubbornes and my other shortcomings, loves me for who i really am . I'm grateful to be that God continues to give me opportunities to discover myself. Despite of all these things, I still feel that I don't have the gutts to face God, because of those things that I despise about myself. I've been serving for 2 years, It really lifts my spirit whenever someone got inspired from my sharing about my personal relationship with God. But, whenever I utter words or do something that intend to hurt other people, I start to cringe. Then, I asked myself, "Am I worthyt to His child?" Guys, I am a hypocrite.

This is my struggle: I've realized that the more you serve God, the more people would expect from you. Because, you should always set an example for them. This is the bitter reality that I have to face, this is the hurdle that I want to surpass.

I would always make mistakes. More often that not, it took me 2 or 3 stumbling blocks to learn a principle.

I'm only human

Heath Ledger found dead in NYC

2008-01-22T21:23:00.000-08:00

Source: omg.yahoo.com

NEW YORK - Heath Ledger was found dead Tuesday at a downtown Manhattan apartment, naked in bed with sleeping pills nearby, police said. The Australian-born actor was 28. It wasn't immediately clear if Ledger had committed suicide.
He had an appointment for a massage at a residence in the tony neighborhood of SoHo, NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said. A housekeeper who went to let him know the massage therapist had arrived found him dead at 3:26 p.m.
A large crowd of paparazzi and gawkers gathered outside the building on an upscale block. Ledger's body was still inside, and several police officers guarded the door.
The medical examiner's office planned an autopsy Wednesday, spokeswoman Ellen Borakove said.
While not a marquee movie star, Ledger was a respected, award-winning actor who chose his roles carefully rather than cashing in on his heartthrob looks. He was nominated for an Oscar for his performance as a gay cowboy in "Brokeback Mountain," where he met Michelle Williams, who played his wife in the film. The two had a daughter, Matilda, and lived together in Brooklyn until they split up last year.
Ledger most recently appeared in "I'm Not There," in which he played one of the many incarnations of Bob Dylan as did Cate Blanchett, whose performance in that film earned an Oscar nomination Tuesday for best supporting actress.
Ledger had finished filming his role as the Joker this year in "The Dark Knight," a sequel to 2005's "Batman Begins."
He's had starring roles in "A Knight's Tale" and "The Patriot," and played the suicidal son of Billy Bob Thornton in "Monster's Ball." He also played a heroin addict in the 2006 Australian film "Candy."
Before settling down with Williams, Ledger had relationships with actresses Heather Graham and Naomi Watts. He met Watts while working on "The Lords of Dogtown," a fictionalized version of a cult classic skateboarding documentary, in 2004.
Ledger was born in 1979 in Perth, in western Australia, to a mining engineer and a French teacher, and got his first acting role playing Peter Pan at age 10 at a local theater company. He began acting in independent films as a 16-year-old in Sydney and played a cyclist hoping to land a spot on an Olympic team in a 1996 television show, "Seat."
After several independent films, Ledger moved to Los Angeles at age 19 and co-starred opposite Julia Stiles in "10 Things I Hate About You," a teen comedy reworking of "The Taming of the Shrew."
Offers for other teen flicks soon came his way, but Ledger turned them down, preferring to remain idle than sign on for projects he didn't like.
"It wasn't a hard decision for me," Ledger told the Associated Press in 2001. "It was hard for everyone else around me to understand. Agents were like, 'You're crazy,' my parents were like, 'Come on, you have to eat.'"
His movie career caught on anyway, culminating with his Academy Award nomination opposite Jake Gyllenhaal in "Brokeback."
"Dark Knight" director Christopher Nolan said earlier this month that Ledger's performance as the Joker would be wildly different than Jack Nicholson's memorable turn in 1989's "Batman."
"It was a very great challenge for Heath," Nolan said. "He's extremely original, extremely frightening, tremendously edgy. A very young character, a very anarchic presence that taps into a lot of our basic fears and panic."
___
Associated Press Sara Kugler contributed to this report.

Why I came late today

2008-01-10T03:00:00.000-08:00

I can't say that this is the worst day of the week, I just got pissed.

I was about to leave when my brother asked me the documents that he needed today.
To make the long story short, we prepare certain files for BIR yearly (for our family business), I wasn't able to update them from October to December last year. So, when I was asked, I told him, "I don't care if we're late". Of course, his temper flared. Honestly, I know i'ts rude to say that, but I'm still angry at him. Basta, something happened recently. Our Mom heard our quarrel.

Consequently, I had no choice but to rush those files. I started at 8 and finished by 12:30, without having my breakfast. Then, I got a call from my officemate, and accidentally yelled at her. Shucks! I should't do that in the first place...

Now, I've clearly seen the repercussions of slacking. I've realized that the more, you leave your work hanging, the more it would pile up, and the more frustrated you'll be.

One of the things that I want to work on is time management. Most people that I know who are successful have a strong sense of discipline. I emulate them, that's why I want to change obliterate my bad habbits, particularly the "petix" mode. Honestly, it's hard for me to admit that I am "tamad". But I have to acknowledge it, so that I could change for the better.

I 'm making an effort so that these things won't happen again. As they say, the bad becomes the better, and the better becomes the best..

my birthday

2007-12-17T17:33:00.000-08:00

I turned 23 today, not exactly young, not exactly old... I'm so thankful that God gave me another year to learn, to dream, and to make things happen. My colleagues, together with my boss had pizza and chicken for lunch (my treat!).

I have so many wishes for my birthday, but for now, I want to simplify everything.. i just wanted to be happy.. nothing more!

Panalangin

2007-08-31T03:55:00.000-07:00

Photos by Kuya Pao

Law & Order ?

2007-08-31T03:40:00.000-07:00

remembering inang...

2007-08-31T02:45:00.000-07:00

nada

2007-08-24T21:32:00.000-07:00

nada

2007-08-24T21:12:00.000-07:00

nada

2007-08-01T21:22:00.000-07:00

I just finished the last chapter of the story that I've been writting since I gradudated from college. I got my inspiration from my past experiences, friends, and movies. This video was quite cheesy, but I still got something from it.

Regrets

2007-07-29T06:17:00.000-07:00

Learning my lesson

2007-07-29T05:44:00.000-07:00

with Inang, 14 years ago

John Lennon once said that, " Life happens when you're busy making other plans". I agree with him because I often got so caught up with my life and it's complexities that I came to a point when I took for granted those people who care about me. Two months ago, my grandmother died. It was too soon because, I am confident that she can recover. Apparently, I was wrong. Everytime that we came for a visit, I can't look at her because I don't want her to be weak. She spent the last two decades of her life taking care of us. Out of all the other cousins that I have, I was so grateful that she chose us.

I am, in nature, a very inexpressive person. I guess, i only show my affection through 'tuksuhans' or by simply thanking the person. This was probably the reason why people thought that I was cold or heartless. In other words, they would misinterpret my actions.
When I began to work, I would always give something to her. But still, I know that at the back of my mind, they weren't enough. Now, I've realized that material things would never compensate for the time that we lost.

Yes, I am still healing and I admit that I would cry when something reminds me of her. However, I know that I have to be strong and composed because I'm not the only one who mourned for her loss. Besides, she's now in a better place. I can't do anything about the past and the best thing that I can do is to share the lessons she taught us. On her death, the lesson I've learned is to value the people who were always there for us because tomorrow is never promised.

Before I finish this entry, Let me share something that she taught me : To share your blessings and be compassionate to others without expecting anything in return.

of slam books and Q & A's

2007-07-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

I was always a fan of Q & A's. way back in elementary, (i hate to admit it), but i was a 'sucker' for slambooks or autographs. i used to have one in grade six. i can't forget how i answer the questions there, i find it corny--sobra! but as i got older, i realized that it made you discover something about yourself. now, here i am again, answering another one..

1. what is your favorite word?
blessed

2. what is your least favorite word?
indifference

3. what turns you on?
honesty

4. what turns you off?
hypocrisy

5. what sound or noise do you love?
air

6. what sound or noise do you hate?
gunshot

7. what is your favorite curse word?
sh*t

8. what profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
film maker/stage actress

9. what profession would you not like to do?
doctor

10. if HEAVEN exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
i'm glad you're home

SUMMER

2007-04-01T23:21:00.000-07:00

It’s officially summer and it’s about time to bask in the sunshine. This year, aside from going to the beach, I’m planning to finish (well, hopefully) the story that I’ve been revising for a year. I started writing it before I graduated. I admit that I’m not a prolific writer, but I can assure that it’s 100% original. I never patterned it from any of the books that I’ve read or movies that I’ve watched. I gather my ideas from my own personal experiences and the lessons that I’ve learned along the way. I want to finish it before this summer ends. Since I don’t have enough budget to travel, the best thing that I can do is to write something substantial…

how to deal

2007-03-20T01:07:00.000-07:00

I hate it when something would try to ruin my day. Earlier this morning,the van that I was riding was stopped by a police officer. I was in a hurry because I haven’t eaten my breakfast. Whenever I’m hungry, I tend to become temperamental and impatient. I was inside the van waiting for the driver to go back. After conversing with the police, the driver told me, “Miss, sandali lang, may ina-ayos lang kami.” I nodded and replied, “ Matagal pa ba yan? Nagmamadali na ako.” Then, I gave him a stern look. Ten minutes have passed and we’re still there. I was getting pissed so I went out of the van and asked the policemen, “Sir, matagal pa ba?” “Ma’am, iimpound na yung van eh, yung driver walang lisensya.” The man replied. Then, I just left. I walked and passed on a nearby McDonald’s chain and bought breakfast. I was eating while walking. The good thing about it is that I’m only few blocks away from the office. Then, I’m only three minutes late.
I know that this is not exactly my fault but I’ve learned something from this incident. I realized that I should not loose my temper easily, because kanina, I feel like ‘exploding’. Well, at least, I’ve prevented myself from doing so. But if I yelled at the people around me, they might think that I’m deranged. I can’t whine or cry about the situation. Instead, I should think of solution.

At this point I should have maturity, I must know how to handle this kind of situation. It’s true that we can’t control the circumstance around us, but we can choose our response. It is a fact that life consists of unending choices and continuous problem solving.

it's like news pare

2007-03-15T04:28:00.000-07:00

2007-03-15T03:50:00.000-07:00

I'm just a newbie at work but i have learned a lot...and i know that i need to learn more because life itself is a never ending study...

I've realized that life is not about fancies. When I was a student, everything that we do is a simulation of the real world. In other words,child's play. But when started working, everyhting was different. Indeed, you're faced with the reality of life, the reality that you can't have your way all the time and that you can't rely on theory all the time. I'm a bookish person and i sometimes reach the point that i base my way thinking on what i've read.."to kac ung nabasa ko"... it's absrud.

during my college years, i was filled insecurities and my perception was filtered by past experiences. i always look down on myself because i'm surrounded with achievers. i thought that i don't have anything to be proud of...because all those time, i consider myself as (unconsciously) as a second rate version of someoneelse. to make things worse, i would always get bothered by trivial things..i spend most of my time tinkering.

after few months of working, i've realized that it was just a wrong way to live my life...looking back, what's been hindering me from reaching my full potential is not becuase of my capacity, it's my self esteem. if i have just believed in myself that i can make it happen, i may have become an academic achiever. sayang.

But, i can't do anything about it, past is past. all i have is the present and i don't want to live my life the same way as before. .. I've realized that i'm a dreamer pala, that if i just believe in myself, i can make great things happen.

People can say what they have to say, but they can't stop me from reaching my goals. That's why I'm doing my best to learn as much i can, so that i would be prepared for everything that life has to offer. GOD has entrusted me a life that solely mine..I won't live it for someone else..

ay pucha, magsasaya ako!

2007-03-03T03:45:00.000-08:00

Heinakuh! why am i wasting my time, tinkering?! absurd, isnt it? so eto na talaga. i'll move on with my life. period. tama na ang drama

wake up..reality bites 2

2007-03-03T02:32:00.000-08:00

uhm.. i can't think of any title that would best fit this entry. .. with that i apologize

last night before i left the office, i checked my multiply account, then, i got the chance to see his video. he sang for someone..and it's not for me. from that moment, i realized that i am a closed chapter in his life. before he left, we didn't have the chance to say goodbye. .. i would never realize that i would come to this point, that i could say to myself that i miss him. he's one of the most genuine persons i've ever known. he's worth keeping. i miss the friendship.. even if i have lots of friends, he will never be replaced. indeed, what is lost,is lost. i felt that i was never been fair to him. i can't do anything about it. i know, i'm sorry... i felt so guilty that i've hurt someone else's feelings because of the careless words that i've said.

after watching the video, i can't help but cry. i felt guilty... naghihinayang ako sa friendship(nothing more). but then, i realized, i have to let go. i don't need to be harsh on myself. i can't do anything about the past. that's why i'm focusing on the present. that's why after work, i went out last night. it so happened that some of my officemates is having their despedida party for these two australian trainers. i enjoyed the night, that i almost forget the feeling that i had. to make things even better, these two australian trainers thanked me for my contributions in the training program. as a training assistant, i was in charge of the logistics, which means that, i'm responsible for the manuals. they told me that, i did a great job. i was so glad to hear that.

i was really thankful that God lifted me up. he is there for me. imagine, i was down when i left the office, but after that , my morale was boosted. it's a good thing that i went out. naka-tulong sobra. so much for my past, i would just live for today. i would focus on the things things that God has in store for me. i actually have a choice, whether, to dwell on my past or move on. i chose the latter because i know that it is the right thing to do. i know that i made things that i would, regret later on. but i believe that no matter what happened in my past, he would still make my paths straight... Besides, God always bring people that would make feel valued.

one person lost, and i've learned my lesson. i thankful that these things happened, beacuse these things would make me become a better person...or the person that God wants me to be.

i don't know how this person would react if he would read this entry. basta, ako, i won't pretend. nasabi ko ung dapat masabi. i won't expect anything in return. whatever or whoever makes him happy. i'm also happy for him.

-this would be my first and last entry for this person-

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new year

2007-01-30T02:55:00.000-08:00

it's been 30 days i welcomed the year 2007. i remembered that before the clock turned 12, i think i did something crazy. i burned everything that would make me hold on to my past.(pictures, letters, etc.) i burned "our picture" because everytime that i look at it, it just gives me false hopes..absurd isn't it? i realized that my life will not change if i always think the same way.
looking back, 2006 has been a good year for me. but, i believe, this year will be much better because i know that God will bless my life more.

2007-01-12T22:21:00.000-08:00

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow -
You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt -
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

wake up.. reality bites

2006-12-14T02:37:00.000-08:00

it's really hard to live a lie. what happened yesterday is like getting hit by a fourteen-wheeler truck. i've realized that even if people say that you're great, special and all that, there would still be those who would make you feel stupid. i can't understand why, it' s unfair. nobody deserves to be treated that way. as far as i'm concerned, i'm not doing anything that would made him treat me that way. i can't talk to him, i can't face him right now. i don't know how to react, so i need some space to figure things out... i may feel down right now, but tommorrow, i'll bounce back.

kanina

2006-12-04T06:14:00.000-08:00

i was about to ride an fx..when i saw the "pen owner"... baba na sana ako...

kaso lang....

mahaba ang pila.... (exodus, pare)

may 2 options ako:

a) bumaba ako at sumabay sa kanya, yun nga lang, male-late ako

b)nd bumaba at nd sya makasabay,pero makakapasok ako on time

pinili ko ang letter b...

fx moment sana noh?

pero trabaho muna...

asteeg kahapon!

2006-11-15T05:05:00.000-08:00

i can't put it into words, bsta, masaya ako, tapos. idadaan ko na lang sa video..

malapit na ang christmas

2006-11-15T05:02:00.000-08:00

i really enjoy this video, as in

Ice Breaker

2006-10-20T02:25:00.000-07:00

Q& A ulit

2006-10-19T05:15:00.000-07:00

I love answering hotsheets, probably because i don't have time to publish long entries, unlike before. (i got this from bianca)

1.What is it about you that people don't reallynotice?
- i'm really tough inside.

2. What do people commonly mistake you for?--a high school student

3. Are you insecure?-- all of us has insecurities.

4. Do you think you're attractive? i don't know

5. Do you find it easy to trust people?-- no

6. Do you have a really big secret?--- yes

7. If yes, how many people have you told about it?--- none

8. How are you when you get mad?--- it depends on the situation

9. What do you do when you're bored?--- eat.
10. Do you enjoy doing nothing?-- yes.

11. Are you comfortable in being alone?-- yes

12. Do you think watching the sunset or the stars is fun?-- yes, it's the perfect moment to get in touch with myself
13. Do you like the rain?-- yes,yes,yes.
14. What can you say about poetry?-- vague thoughts expressed
15. Are you a phone person?-- not really.
16. Do you smoke weed?-- no
17. What song best describes how youfeel?-- everybody wanst you by josh kelley
18. What impossible thing do you want to do right now?-- to be in two places at the same time
19. What is missing in your life right this moment?-- ju and chery
20. aRe you happy with the way thingsare going in your lovelife?--i don't have one, but i enjoy being single
21. Are you sure?-- yes!)22. Where were you today?-- office, unwinding after a long day's work
23. What did you do today?-- encode, print labels, and the list goes on

24. Who were you with today?-- with my boss.
25. What are you planning to do now?-- go home and sleep.

mrt moment

2006-10-19T04:59:00.000-07:00

emotions are not reliable. really. last monday, i guess, i lied to myself. i'm down and i really wanted to talk to someone else. i had this feeling that i don't want to go home early. basta gusto ko na lang ung matutulog ako.

i was on my way to powerbooks when i saw a 'familiar face'. nagkasabay kami sa mrt. to make the long story short, i had a great conversation with him. this moment reminded me of the movie , "Before Sunset". it's just about shared interest, nothing serious about it. but, i feel better. ay ewan.

*last

ay ewan

2006-10-11T02:58:00.000-07:00

i can't think of any title, so eto na lang....

ngaun ko lang ata na-realize kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng salitang "trabaho". hindi kac ako na-bakante, these past few days.

this is it, i have to be on my own, as in kinakailangan kung gumawa ng diskarte sa lahat ng bagay (hindi lang sa work, sa iba pa, basta, un na un). recently, nabigla ako sa mga nangyari: 1) my grandfather died 2) nlaman ko na may gf pala ung friend ko. ..nd ko naman alam eh. hehe. 3) bnigyan ako ng mag responisbilities na dapat kuya ko ang gumagawa..pathetic 4) etong person from the past, gusto na naman atang bumalik sa eksena..sus!

ung #1 , tanggap ko na. na-express ko na ung emotion na kailangan. i'm happy for him because he's making music in heaven. number 2, masaya ako dahil dun sa "keyboard moment". pero nagulat ako nung nkta ko ung gf nya. tinukso kac cla nung mga pipol.nd pala joke un, "true" pala .mabuti na lang hindi kami ang ginawang pair. ok lang un, sayang ang friendship. grabe number 3, i have to deal with it. wla akong, magagawa, it's part of my responisbility as a daughter. damn! number 4, he's not the type of person that i really want . i gave him so many chance before, pero,tama na ang kalokohan! i moved on. ---- i made a huge mistake in my life, i should've not wasted my time with a person who doesn't give a damn about me. i have to face it, i don't deserve the treatment that he gave to me before. tapos, ngaun, babawi?! It's his loss. i'd rather spend time with other people than make a stupid move again. non me ne frege.

so un ang gustong sabihin....

friends: how much i miss them

2006-09-30T21:54:00.000-07:00

i've realized that i'm living the kind of life that i truly wanted : i have a job, i'm serving in a community, and i finally have the time to help my family. these are the things that i asked God. finally, i'm having the time of my life.

but, it would be so much better if my friends were here. there were things that i could only disclose to them. but were busy wih our own lives. we chose different paths, we're on our own. i

yes, i really miss my friends. we've been together for 4 years, they're the reason why my college life became interesting. i am my own person now, but i won't have the confidence, if they didn't help me. it's different without them.

joyfully single

2006-09-27T08:41:00.001-07:00

21 years old, not exactly young, not exactly old.(unattached for six years, hehe) one thing's for sure, i have lots of "growing up" to do. but at this age, i'm fully aware that i should have certain maturity. this is the time that i have to be responsible in the different roles that i have : a sister, a friend, an employee, and a child of God.
i am still adjusting in the new phase of my life where i'm regarded as an adult. i have to balance quirkiness and maturity/ work and play. this is the art that i want to learn. besides i consider myself as a student of life & learning. because i believe that learning does not stop in school. but now, i am in the stage, where theory and practice goes hand in hand.
so what does these have with my singleness?
i'll get things straight. my point is that being a single person means that we should utilize the gifts and talents that God bestowed on us. this is the time that we need to strive to become the man/woman that God wants us to be. this is my struggle as i follow his foot steps. as a single person, i want to serve God through the people that i work with.
unattached for six years? so what?! this is the time to get in touch with myself and with the things that i'm passionate about. instead of putting my life on hold, waiting for that person to come, i would get in touch with what i truly wanted. besides, how would others appreciate me if don't appreciate myself. i want to become to a secured individual before i meet that person.

joyfully single

2006-09-27T08:41:00.000-07:00

all in a day's work

2006-09-27T07:46:00.000-07:00

" Collect your thoughts whenever you suffer a setback and ask yourself what good can be extracted from your misfortune. Look for the seed of good from every adversity."
-OG MANDINO

I had a rough day at work. I won't go through the details. I'll focus on my learnings instead.

I was not productive these past few days and I've realized that I need to have a sense of urgency & speed, without sacrificing the quality of my work. I am an idealistic person. I want an "immaculately flawless work". but i know that it will never happen. besides, were only human and we're bound to make mistakes.

My grandfather died last sunday,(he's one of my mentors) but i just found that out yesterday---in the officei had mixed emotions. i went to the ladie's room and cried. after that, i washed my face and composed myself. i want to hide my emotions as much as possible.i want to be professional. i know for a fact that 'babies' are not allowed in the workplace. i want to prove that i can carry myself. it would affect me in some ways, but it would not expiate me from not perfroming well. indeed, i am responible for my actions.

what took place today is a humbling experience because i had the chance to see the areas that i need to improve.in fact, my morale was boosted when my boss crticized my performance. ironic isn't it? because is should have had negative feelings. pero wala... because i want to take this in a very "classy" way. just because i have performed poorly doesn't mean that i would be like this forever. as they say, "the bad becomes the better & the better becomes the best."

Finally, I've realized that God allows certain incidents (like this) to happen because he desperately wants us to learn and he wants us to make wise decisions.
Because of my learnings today, I know that I', going to become a better version of myself.

rainbow

2006-09-01T04:48:00.000-07:00

that's how i describe my life. well, i've learned that God lets you go through a lot before you achieve what you want in life. after 3 months of job hunting, i got hired last wednesday in one of the biggest company in the country. i never thought that i will work there. it's really impossibe, i thought. but GOD is really great, we really can't comprehend his mind. but one thing that i'm sure about, is that our dreams are important to him. he wants us to live our life to the fullest.

going back, it was quite a journey. i can finally say that i moved on with my life. the drama ramas of yesterday was not important anymore. all i have are the lessons that i've learned. i hope i won't do that again. at one point or another, i will make mistakes, but i won't do the same thing again. i'm starting a clean slate and i don't want my life to be haunted by my past.

i don't want my life to become complicated. all i need is my faith in God and a positive attitude, then, everything else will follow.

i'm a dreamer and i dream of big things. i can't have everything want at the same time, but i'll relish whatever i have right now. my life is not perfect, i have lots of struggles as i follow christ's foot steps. but, i've realized that God uses our experiences so that we can make wise decisions. that's how much he believes in us.
i want to be in the present, and i'll live my life one day at time

isn't he cute

2006-08-19T01:55:00.000-07:00

i was never a fan of mexican novelas but this video caught my attention. syempre gael is here and would you believe he was just 14 in this clip? --para lang syang 10. hehe

one traumatic day

2006-08-19T00:45:00.000-07:00

sometimes you've got to know yourself when you're faced with an unlikely situation. that's when you don't have your friends or family around to protect you.
yesterday, my mom and i filed a complaint against an employee from prudential life because of harassment. while wating for the contact person in the reception room, i read a novel. then, this guy (a jason of PBB look-alike) approached me. "miss anu yang binabasa mo" his tone was like that of kuya boji of batibot, and i was really irritated. "a novel of isabel allende" i replied coldly. sa isip isip ko lang, "hello?! hindi pre school or retarded ung kausap ko mo noh!". I moved away from him, but the more i moved away, the more he leaned his face towards my cheek. ung halos halikan ako. yeah, i almost freaked out. ..my mom didn't do anything kac she's tested me on how would i react. super iwas na talaga ako, sumisiksik na ako sa mom ko pero ang kulit pa rin nya. then, timing naman na dumating na ung contact person namin.

akala ko tapos na, then he enterd the scene again when i was left alone in the table kac may tinatawagan ung mom ko and she was accompanied by the contact person. he was aking questions like, my degree, etc. i didn't answer his questions because he's really acting rude na. sa inis ko, i just told him "alam mo, may kamukha ka.." "oo c jason, maraming nagsasabi" he replied with an annoyed look. then bumalik ung mom ko and the contact person. akala ko mahihiya na sya, pero sabat pa rin sya ng sabat. epal tlaga! to make things worse, bigla syang bumanat sa akin " umusog ka jan, uupo ko!" i gave him an angry stare, that i would almost slap his face. ung gusto nyang isiksik ung sarili nya sa inuupuan ako. then his companion, told him, "pare, may upuan dito" tapos talak sya ng talak hanggang sa wala nang nkknig sa kanya. F*ck tlga! i wish he's dead.when we left that company i was really infuriated. when we were in the elevator i told my mom " u shouldv'e been smarter, dapat alert ako, pero i'm not feeling well today kaya medyo slow ako. i want to go back there and beat that guy!" pinigil lang ako ng mom ko. she told me that we would do something about that tommorow.

on the next day my mom talked to the manager and told him what happened. then when my mom requested to talk to vincent papa (yes, that's the guy), he refused to talk to us. then the manager told us that she would call us back regarding on the course of action that they will do. after three hours, the manager called back. She asked me to relay again what really happened. then, she apologized first then told me the course of action that they will do. according to the manager, the guy will be suspended for 15 days. she also explained to me that he was actually the quiet type. they were shocked when they found out that he dispalyed a bizaare behavior. it was the first time daw na nangyari yun. she added that, that guy lost his father a week ago. pero i told the manager to tell the guys that at his age he must have certain maurity, in sense that he should detach his personal issues from his professional life. in fact, his father's death could not justify what he did to me.

i've learned my lesson. when i'm faced with a similar situation, i know what to do. * u're dead!

quiz quizan

2006-07-30T06:12:00.000-07:00

Can you name 21 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 21 people.

Ready, Start!

1. Gael Garcia Bernal aka Padre Amaro
2. Sitti
3. faith
4. tseri
5. julie
6. ode
7. jun
8. dar
9. peter
10. iking
11. telle
12. bianx
13. nicloe
14. caroline
15. mam ellar
16. mam chrisma
17. vanjo
18. cocoy
19. mike abrera
20. renz
21. ALDO

THE QUESTIONS:

1. How did you meet 14?
C caroline, classmaate kami nung grade 5, naging close kami since then
2. What would you do if you never met 6?
wla akong makikilalang beatles fanatic; she's such a wonderful person
3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
nd pwede, parehas na boys
4.Did you ever like 5?
of course! best friend ko yan sa college eh
5. Would 4 and 12 make a good couple?
nd pwede parehas na girls
6. Describe 8.
c dar, matalino, goth, eccentric, asteeg!

7. Do you think 13 is attractive?
c nicole, syempre. may brains pa yan! san ka pa!

8.Tell me something about 17.
c vanjo kasundo ko sa chicken balat & other lamang loob. at syempre ung Apparition

9. Do you know any of 4's family members?
c ju, yes

10. What's 21's favorite color?
no idea

11. What would you do if 18 confessed he/she likes you?
haha, 'funny', nd ako maniniwala, kac he's joking 4 sure

12. what language does 20 speak?
English, Tagalog,at trying hard mag spanish .

13. Who is 9 going out with?
no idea
14. What year is 16 in?
mam chrisma is 34 yrs old

15. When's the last time you talked to 13?
k nicole, 2 months ago

16. What is 2's favorite band?
cguro ung sitti kac vocalist sya nun eh
17. Would you ever date 7?
definitely no, may ode na xia eh

18. Would you ever date 12?
no c bianx un
19. Is 15 single?
mam ellar is married

20. What is 19's last name?
abrera

21. Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 11?
c telle, nd pwede gurl kami parehans

22. What school does 3 go to?
grad n ac faith

23. Where does 15 live?
sa manila daw

24. What's your favorite thing about 10?
serious when working, hilarious pag break time

25. Have you seen number 1 naked?
c Gael, nd pa. sana (ay hehe, bad! joke lang!)

el crimen del padre amaro

2006-07-30T05:31:00.000-07:00

i would definitely reccomend this movie because the story was realistic. It was about a recently ordained priest who fell in love with a young girl who serves in the parish. At first, he was repressing her feelings for this girl, but in the long run, allowed lust to rule theirselves.Their lives were shattered afterwards.(He's very gorgeous and decent. You would really think that he's pure and all that. Apparently, he's not).

I suddenly remembered what sir atalia taught us in second year, that when you act in contrary of your belief, it means 3 things: a) mali ka, b)mali ang pinaniniwalaan mo,or c)mali parehas . This movie is really an eye opener to me, because it reminds me of the reality we are all vulnerable to temptations. But, it's up to us if we would give in or not. One of my struggles in life as a christian is purity. Ang hirap, talaga. Pero I think mas mahirap ung situation ng mga priests and nuns, because they always have to portray an image that they are pure and holy. But, they're only human and not saints. When I talked to this priest in school and I asked him to pray for our thesis, he replied," Kami din, ipagdasal nyo, mas kailangan namin un." Indeed, he's right.

Then, na realize ko, ok pa palang maging ordinaryong tao. I'm still blessed because I don't live in a constricted universe.

I can't deny the fact that I found Gael (gal) Garcia Bernal aka Padre Amaro attractive. Sana ganun c ALDO (cla tseri lang ang nkaka-alam nun), ung mukha ha! When I've watched the steamy scenes,(kahit saan kac nagla-lampungan, na parang walang bukas!) nandiri ako sa character nya! Kung ano kac ung ikina-gwapo nya, un ung ipinangit ng ugali nya. wag naman sana ganun, di ba?!

kahapon

2006-07-26T21:17:00.000-07:00

hindi ko alam kung anong dapat title ng entry ko na 'to. i'll just post it anyway.

i can't forget how got totally exhausted yesterday. after waiting for almost 3 hrs, my interview sucked. na-mental block kac ako. i didn't do well in the interview. ilang beses na akong nai-iinterview, parang kailangan ko na talagang matuto. mahirap mang sabihin, i'll just charge it to experience.

then bigla kong naicp ung quote ko na narinig ko sa 98.7 "sometimes, when u didn't get what u want, it's actually a stroke of luck."

well, i think it's a blessing in disguise. no matter how crappy i feel today. i'll be honest with myself and try to look on the positive side of every adversities that i encounter.

freakin' hilarious

2006-07-26T00:07:00.000-07:00

wla ako sa mood mag lagay ng mga post kaya videos ang 3p ko ngaun. anyway. i've seen this video before from cofibean's post. pagkatapos nun tawa ako ang tawa. tsk tsk kawawang reporter. :(

aliw na video

2006-07-17T21:59:00.000-07:00

last summer, i began to like jazz music, especially the band, sitti. nakak-relax talaga.

My life in 5 days: Part three

2006-05-19T02:43:00.000-07:00

BAGUIO

1. Baguio, after 16 yrs

I was five years old when I last visited Baguio. That was the time before the earthquake took place. When I came back, Baguio City changed a lot. It was more commercialized than before. When we entered the City, parang Recto. Anyway, it's a good thing that we stayed in an inn far from the "hustle bustle" of the city. Iggy's Inn was a good place to stay. I like the interior, especially the paintings, it's like the "DragonflyInn" (Gilmore Girls).

2. Old house

I took a picture of an old, unkempt house in front of the Inn. It seems that it has seen "better days". Kac, I saw a vintage car in the garage, parang fifties. I really wanted to go inside, gusto ko kac maka-pasok sa mga lumang bahay, well, I know it's weird, but i really love adventures! Honestly speaking, that house attracted me because I felt like I lived in the fifties.-->just a thought!

3. AFS Scholars

on my last night, i got a chance to hang out with the AFS scholars from Thailand, Panama, Belgium, Egypt, Belgium, & Chile. It seemed that they looked like my age, they're really tall! They even thought that I was younger than them. (liit ko kac eh). Kidding aside these kids were really intelligent. I find them interesting, because they were highly opinionated. I liked the way they expressed their opinions. Well,I really like people who speaks their mind because it's really challenging. Interacting with them, had expanded my horizons. I've realized that not all my prejudices (about other culture) were right. Because, I got intimidated by these kids at first,because I thougt that they were "racists". But, i was wrong, they're actually nice people. I've learned that you just have to be confident, especially when interacting with people from different nationalities/cultures.And of course, humor will serve you well.

*try to find Nick Carter's look alike on the second picture (unfortunately, he's gay and he's proud of it)

My life in 5 days : Part two

2006-05-19T02:35:00.000-07:00

SAGADA

1. St. Mary the Virgin Parish

-this Church is very simple, yet, a reminiscent of the medieval times.That's what makes the church charming. When I prayed inside, I felt like I was in a time warp, parang nasa time ako ni Robin Hood. hehe. If you're going to Sagada, take a visit on this church. I think, this place is ideal for religious people or those who want to make a devotion.

2. St. Joseph's Inn

- Just a few meters away from the SMV parish. The ambience was very homey. Ang cute ng mga cottages, parang Pleasantville.

* I wasn't able to see the tribes that Mam Pepin was talking about,(ung namumugot ng ulo). Nobody talks about them. They're mysterious.

*The natives has distinct features. They look like Ifugao dolls because they have round and lovely pair of eyes.

*I was amazed when I saw the mothers carrying their children at their back with cloth. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to take a picture of them, kumakain kac ako nun eh, hehe.

My life in 5 days :Part one

2006-05-19T01:07:00.000-07:00

BANAWE

1) Las Vegas Restaurant and Lounge

- We ate in this restaurant during our 3- day stay in Banawe. The food was great and the service was excellent. The food tastes different , especially the sinigang, iba kac ung pampa-asim nila eh. The service was personalized, because the children of the owner were the ones who served the food to us. Each member has his/her own share in the business. The mother cooks, the children serves the food, and the best part of it, the father serenades us with country songs. Their children were also talented. I took a shot on the eldest son while he was playing "narda". I would definitely recommend this place, especially for those who are tight on budget. For as low as 70 pesos, you already have a meal. The lodging costs 150 pesos----- affordable di ba? This place is a great place to hangout in Banawe.ASTIG!

2) Banawe View Inn

-We stayed here for three days. This is more expensive than Las Vegas, because lodging itself costs 600 pesos. But, it's worth it because the place is neat. The place was owned by Mr & Mrs. Luglog. FYI: Mrs. Luglog was the great grand daughter of late Ottley Beyer, the anthtopologist who studied the Ifugao culture. He later on married an Ifugao native. aside from the breath taking view of the rice terraces, i also liked the museum. Learning their culture was the most interesting part of my trip. Tignan nyo ung chess, ang cute!

3) Dep ed Lagawe

-on the second day, we went to Lagawe to conduct an AFS orientation for inbound and outbound students and parents.To make the long story short, I was asked to assist with the orientation. I had the chance to meet some AFS scholars. Aside from Emelia, I also met Junia, an Ifugao native. Both of them returned last year after spending eleven months in the United States.

4) Rice Terraces

-This was the highlight of my trip. If I would describe the rice terraces in one word, that would be: WONDERFUL!

magpaka-totoo ka!

2006-05-10T05:05:00.000-07:00

"magpaka-totoo ka!" di ba buyline to dati sa commercial ng sprite.... at ito ang bago kong motto sa sarili ko.

anyway,

i've learned that "knowing yourself and accepting it (both your weaknesses and strengths) is an art". i hate to admit it but i often find myself conforming to what other people says. i want to change it and i know it won't happen overnight. it's hard for me because, i've been battling with my insecurities for a long time. i used to think that i was not smart or good enough to be accepted by other people. in other words, i easily get intimidated.

but, two weeks ago, my family and i went on a 3 day vacation in Subic. then, something good came out of it. ..past wounds began to heal and i began to accept myself for who i really am. i started to unravel the things that i would be passionate about, but most of all i began to discover God's plan for me.

now the question is... how do i describe myself?
well, aside from being a college graduate and an apprentice in our family business, i consider myself as a student of life and learning. ang sarap matuto, lalo na when u finally decided to pick yourself up and get back in the race. from my past experiences, i was bruised, humbled, and i guess, smarter. i don't want to look back with resentment. i want to see what i've learned. i have to acknowledge my mistakes, so i won't do them again. because accdg. to dr. Phil mcgraw, "u can't change what u don't acknowledge."

we all have our quirks and shortcomings but what's important is that u don't allow your idiosyncracy to disrupt other people.
i was always considered as "peculiar" because of my interests. i used to consider it as an insecurity, but i was wrong. instead i should see it as an advantage. because my differences, makes me special. all of us have our own bizaare behaviors, i was just more upfront about it, kaya madali akong mapuna.

- - - ganito kac ako: i'm a sucker for pinoy flicks, kahit drama eh, tinatawanan ko, i love classics, vintage stuffs. mas natutuwa ako makinig sa new wave music, kahit marami akong latest songs na gusto. bhira ako sumunod sa latest shows. when i cook, i experiment stuffs, wla akong specific na dish na sinusunod. ung journal ko and my other personal stuffs gusto ko handmade.at medyo maligalig ako kapag natutuwa ako ng sobra - - -

medyo kakaiba di ba?

now i have come to realize that, i have to manage my quirks. i've accepted them. as long as i put it in a socially acceptable manner without compromising myself to other people's expectations. ok na un. i can't please everybody. if a person can't accept me for who i really am it's his problem, non me ne frege.

* for those who love my past entries, thank you so much!!!

naligaw na prinsesa

2006-04-19T03:36:00.000-07:00

yesterday, i accidentaly stepped on a kitten. pinulot ko at tinabi. pero, sumusunod sa akin. so, i just brought him home. i was suprised on my parent's reaction, nung nakita nila ung kitten. hindi sila nagalit saken, i just have to make sure daw na hindi magkakalat un. i gave myself one week, pag hindi ko sya kayang alagaan, ibibigay ko sya sa iba.
i actually called my friend who's a cat lover. pero, sabi nya bka masanay daw ako sa pag-alaga. bseides, ,marami na rin syang alaga. mhirap na un.

i guess i was meant to keep the cat because, God might be teaching me something. Before ako pumasok ng bahay, tinabi ko sya sa mga pusang kalye sa amin. hindi sya nilapitan. so tinago ko na lang. I named her "princess" kac, i believe the kitten is special. nkakaawa kac, ang she can only see through her left eye.

things worth sharing---from a college grad

2006-04-05T22:54:00.000-07:00

-graduation day: with my two best friends in college-
moving out of one's comfort zone can be downright scary. that's what i'm experiencing right now. i'm not a student anymore, no more daily allowances, late night crammings, nerve wracking recitations in labor, and the list goes on. needless to say, i don't have a license to be a kid.
i'm already considered an adult and expected to act like one. after graduation, i've realized that i have other roles to fulfill. it's up to me, kung paano ko patatakbuhin yung buhay ko.this time, you're going to make your own syllabous, not your professors. you have so much freedom, but you have to be responsible with your actions. mas importante ngaun ung diskarte. i believe, i cn do it.

i really miss ust, my friends, and professors, but most of all, i miss learning. but learning doesn't stop in the four wall of the classroom. actually, i consider myself as a student of life. for me, learning is a lifetime experience. what's important is that i must tap in to the things that i'm passionate about. after i marched, i told myself, "i won't allow my work to make me dumb". based from my corporate stint last year, i've learned that doing monotonous tasks really exhausts us. but, i should not limit on the things that are given to me. i put it this way, if i know, i can do or be more in my status quo, i should explore, i should think outside the box. besides, work is just a slice of life, it's not the entire pizza. i should not take things personally. working eight hours doesn't stop me from doing the things that i'm passionate about. i believe that successful people are those who are making the most out of their limited resources.

i describe myself as a dreamer and a pragmatist at the same time. i dream. i love to go beyond borders, love to break people's expectations. i like to help other's dreams come true. i hate the idea that people box me na, "hanggang dito lang ang kaya mo, u can't go too far". i love proving other people that they're wrong. in high school, i was most people think that i can't be good at anything. it bothered me for a while, but i considered it as "non-sense". i moved on with my life, i focused on my priorities. now i'm proud to say that my efforts paid off and with God's grace, i was able to graduate in a prestigious university.

i am a pragmatist because i'm practical at the same time. i made sure that i've maximized my resources. i have so many endeavors. ang dami kong gustong gawin sa buhay ko. actually, i'm planning that after college, to teach less fortunate children about christ's teaching and to serve in our church. i also want to take crash courses on baking, fashion design, or bead making. but i don't have the luxury of time and money. but i can't do all these things, because i found myself responsible in our family business. before i arrived with this decision, i prayed to God first, because i believe that if i put my faith in him, everything else will follow. as written in the bible, "commit to the Lord all your plans, and your plans will succeed." this made sense, first things first. how can i teach other children if i can't teach my little brother? and how can i help my family if i'm serving the church most of the time, to think that there are responsibilities na ako lang ang makaka-gawa. whatever i do, i put my trust in God because i believe that everything will fall into place.

chopsuey

2006-04-03T10:15:00.000-07:00

-i've made this title because i want to post every thought that ran through my head. -

joyfully single
i've learned that some of you're views today may not be the same 5 years after. i'm talking from experience. the person that u thought u wanted when u were, 15 may not be the person u wanted today. because of experiences, we learn and our values become more defined. the more matured we get, the more that we realize the characters that we want in a person.
i'm already 21, and i'm not a kid anymore. i'm expected to act as an adult. but i'm not that old, i have a lot of 'growing up' to do. this means that i don't want to rush things. petix lang muna, ika nga ni claye. i don't want to rush into a relationship just because i like the person. liking and knowing a person are two different things. i know, relationshps are not easy. kaya, i think that it's better to know the person first before we get emotionally attached. ewan ko, basta all i don't need to take all things seriously, kelangan timplahin muna.

being me
all i want to do right now is to move on with my life. ung mga memories ko, iniwan ko na sa college. babalikan ko na lang pag kinakailangan. i want to start from scratch. kaya nga magpapahinga muna ako for one month before i work. i have to take all the rests that i need to take, but at the same time i also have to prepare myself. i want to take my life one at a time.
i want to get focused on the things that i'm passionate while fulfilling my obligations in my family.

bum culture
hell no! i won't rest forever. i can't imagine myself asking money from my parents. nahihiya na ako! but i admit, nage-enjoy ako magpahinga. movie marathon, excessive blogging, 10 hours of sleep, voracious reading, browsing christian bautista 24/7....i love it! now i have the luxury of time to do all these things, though i know that this will not last long. i've currently finished watching "Bagets". It's really hilarious, those were the days were aga mulach was the boy next door and herbert bautista was the comic geek. and oh! their outfits were really ridiculous. thank God, i wasn't a teenager that time. i can't even imagine wearing pink leggings and yellow top with matching walkman... yuck! but not all of the old flicks that i've watched were ugly. i've also watched breakfast at tiffany', it's really timeless. i believe, most of the romantic comedy flicks that werer produced recently were patterned from that movie. i can descirbe audrey as humorous, but still manages to stay classy. that's why she stands out. fyi, she's one of my fashion icons. my grad dress was inspired from that movie. it's simple yet elegant. see?! i'm not bumming for nothing

deutsche stretche

2006-03-27T19:34:00.000-08:00

ang weird ng nung nangyari nung pauwi ako. nagmamadali ako, palabas na ako ng espana, ---basta, nagmamadali akong naglalakad. may nakbangga ako, nabitawan ko yung hawak kong toga. pinulot nung nkabangga ko. nag-sorry sya saken. sabi ko, ok lang, pero hindi ko na tinignan kac matangkad eh. ang alam ko lang medyo lukot ung polo ya. .... shucks! naku! baka c 'stretch' yun! oh no! nkaka-hiya, kung sya man un, ang suplada ata nung dating ko. tsk, tsk tsk. hala, isa siyang pala-icpan!

hay, naku, bakit ko ba pine-pressure yung sarili ko. petix lang ko dapat.
hmmm.dschryt! dapat ganito lagi.....

kung sya man un, at least, may nagpa-ganda ng araw ko. yey!

*para dun sa mga ka-close ko, kilala nyo na kung cno c stretch*

be thankful daw. cge na nga c",

2006-03-26T23:35:00.000-08:00

grabe init ngaun! mabuti na lang at my na-discover ako na astig na food. it's called cerealicious. madali na tuloy ako mag-crave ng cereals-- yum! shucks, bka tumaba ako. oh no!..k lang masarap naman. sabi nga ng isang prof namin, do what makes you happy as long as you're not stepping on other people. oo nga naman. magsasaya ako. bwahhahaha and let the 'problem' worry about itself.
i deserve to be happy. i really do. syempre, im going do graduate this wednesday na. i'm really excited. pero i'm going to miss those people who made college life worthwhile (both good and bad). i'm thankful for having them. i don't have room for absurdities. i'm glad i've met different kinds of people, ang dami ko talagang natutunan. i was really challenged, kung hindi dahil sa mga tao na 'to, i will never strive to become a better version of myself. God is really good, he really knows what's best for me.
for those people who don't really know me or mababaw ung pagkakilala sa akin. thank you, the more you say something, the more that i realize that i'm a worthwhile person. i feel so sorry for you. kac, you're just helping me boost my self esteem. astig nga eh. mas naiicp ko pa tuloy yung mga tingin ni God saken.
it's better to please God than man. kaya, i'd strive to become the person that he wants me to be than gloating over uneccessary comments of people. i'd rather stay happy. there are so many reasons to be thankful. i was so blessed that God is sending in my life for his special purpose.
i know it's hard pero i chose to follow his footsteps. like Christ, marami din ang marami pa akong dapat pag-aksayahan ng oras. thanks, anyway.bumabatikos, nagle-label. but it's ok. i don't need them. sa inyo na lang yan. i "really want to forgive you. "whatever you say or do to me, i'm still a worthwhile person."
thank you, dahil mas na-realize ko na marami ang nagva-value sa akin, kac they know me deeply. they appreciate me for who i really am. it's true that if you really have good intentions, it will really reflect. kahit may nagco-contradict saken.
GOD bless!

-graduation-

2006-03-23T09:39:00.000-08:00

i woke up one morning and realized that i'm not a kid anymore. after my practicum days, i felt that people expected more from me. in my family, my parents expects a lot from me. they want me to take charge in our family business. i felt pressured, but when i've come to realize that, i just see it as an opportunity to grow. at first, i felt that they want to limit my capacities, but later on, i've realized that they wanted to expand my potentials. this is also an avenue where i apply some concepts that i've learned in school, because my degree deals with people at work.
this serves as a training ground for me. this is my edge, this is something that i could prove to my future employers. i was not able to get into the dean's list, but my grades were ok naman eh.

college life will never be the same without the people who have inspired me. college life was a mystery, at first. but now, it's a treasure. college is the golden age of my life (i guess, i've said this before). i may not be an academic achiever, i may not be the most brilliant person in class. but, i have something to be proud of myself. it's the lessons that i've learned, no grade can amount to that. i will never forget atty bong lopez and sir galan. two professors that made a great impact in my life. learning will never be the same without them.
atty. bong lopez- i can describe him as a terror of reason. he bitches about everything and offered a different perspective in life. i've learned that being a student doesn't stop at school.
he exudes passion in molding us. what sets him apart from the other professors is that he was able to produce individuals that makes a difference. i admired him because he pushed me to become more of what is expected from a normal student. he is not only successful in his carreer, but he is also successful in his vocation.
sir galan-the fagot of the literature. he made me become aware of my rights of being a woman. he even told the class "kaya kau, magka-degree muna kau." i began to value education more. later on, i considered myself as a feminist. i became assertive of my worth. because of the lessons that he told us, i've realized how great it is to become a woman.
i will miss the moments where my convictions were challenged. i will never be the same without these people.

now it's about time to take another step. ito na ang tunay na karera ng buhay. i know that i don't have to fear antyhing because im ready to face the challenges ahead of me. with those four years that i've spent in college, it's about time to prove myself.

turning point

2006-03-22T07:29:00.000-08:00

-graduation is fast approaching and i try to look back on some moments of my college life that i will never forget. i entered college life with an empty box waiting to get filled. i can't remember everything, but i will never forget how i've changed.-

ok here's a piece of some of the stories that i will treasure for a lifetime

it took place a month ago when we were doing our thesis. it was a week of physical, emotional, and stress. in other words, i became "tuliro" because i felt that i can't deliver well in our thesis and some of my personal relationships with other people were strained. i would leave at 8 am and go home at 10 pm. my parents, thought that i was just engrossed with school work, but they do not know that there were other things that has been killing me. two of my closest friends were not my thesismates, so i somehow find it hard to open to my groupmates. however, i was blessed that i've bonded with my thesismates because they made me closer to God. then, there were this vampires that drains me because they channel their miseries to me, i don't even know why.the weeks before our defense were really tough, but i'm glad i've survived. there was a week that i feel like quitting everything as in everything because i was really strained and felt that i can't do it anymore. i will never forget it because it was a turning point in my life. i am really down when extraordinary incidents took place. i can manage academic pressures but i'm not good in handling "emotional vampires".it's really pathetic that there are people who will be rude to you even if you're nice to them. i was victimized by these people anyway, that was the time when i felt that god reached out to me. he used the other people to save me. there was this person whom i thought, i would help him, but it's the other way around. he went to the classroom to get his stuff, then i approached him, i started the conversation about our professors, then i disclosed the things that has been bothering me. i can't help it, i cried. then he told me these , "angelica, mabuti kang tao, you are special, maraming nagmamahal sa'yo.kapit lang." they really struck me because, i've waited for someone to say these things to me, though i felt that my friends have been taking care of me. these lines sounds so melodramatic but these makes when you are in a verge of falling down. as human beings we need positive reinforcements to lift our spirits.
another took place was when i'm on my way home. i was alone then, i felt so anxious, i felt that those experiences piled up. when i used to think about them, they were, like forming a monster in my head, leaving me helpless. then, i suddenly ran inside the church, i decided to confess. i prayed to God "kahit po maiksi lang yung confession, as long as i felt your prescence, i'll be fine."
then i began to confess. i told him what i really felt. then, he asked me if he could talk to me after confession. i told him my experiences that piled up. after that, i felt much better. though, i haven't fully recovered, i felt empowered. i felt that my load became lighter. the moment i confessed, God talked talked to me. I will never forget that week, because i've realized that God was will never abandon me. he was my refuge, my pillar of strength. For non believers, i'm telling you God is real, you just have to believe. despite of those things that transpired, i don't have any reason to get angry with him. following Christ's footsteps is the most difficult thing to do. my previous experiences were my struggles because i chose to follow him. This is a story that worth sharing, a story that i feel proued to tell. i hope that my story will help others. Just P.U.S.H (Pray Until Something Happens) !

naunsyaming pagtatagpo atbp.

2006-03-21T21:07:00.000-08:00

grabe, i really got dissapointed last saturday kac i wasnt able to see christian bautista. nasa sm din ako nung time nung album tour nya, kaso lang bumibili kami ng damit ng kapatid ko, yep, im with my dad and brother. tsk tsk tsk Nkakalungkot tlaga. But that's ok, I'm not that desperate naman eh. kuntento na akong mkta ko sya sa tv, pero sayang lang ung chance ko kac i wasnt able to see him in the flesh.

yes, aminado ako na avid fan ako (it shows naman sa mg pics ko di ba?)( but i'm telling you, i'm not one of those "banshees" that desperately grab him ang strip his clothes..yuck! it's so pathetic. may nabasa ako lately na one his worst experiences is that there was this who grabbed and kissed him, and stripped his clothes sa kalagitnaan ng concert. it was so stupid and mortifyng talaga. ewan ko ba, hindi ko maintindihan yung iba na they worship their idols like they were immortals.
eh mga tao din naman cla noh?! i don't get it, blt naman kac kelangan maging animal yung iba.

tickle test

2006-03-21T20:31:00.000-08:00

Your movie star double is Ethan Hawke

Who's Your Movie Star Double?

Brought to you by Tickle

An intellectual like you needs to be played by someone who understands how to be deep without being boring, someone who can grasp complicated subjects and make them seem clear cut, someone like Ethan Hawke. Whether bringing Hamlet to life or getting published himself, Ethan has shown the world that being smart can be sexy.

Were you sometimes the kid in class who realized when the teacher made a mistake — even if you didn't always point it out? Now that you're grown up, it wouldn't surprise us if you still liked the challenge of banter or enjoyed staying up late talking about the latest in political, social, or celebrity circles. Your glamour comes from your head first and radiates out through your looks. So keep that confidence up. Ethan's a natural to star as you because he, like you, has a good head on his shoulders. And isn't afraid to use it.

i should have posted this earlier

2006-03-06T19:13:00.000-08:00

The incident took a more than 2 weeks ago. anyway, that was the time na ngarag ako sa paggawa ng resume sa job fair at maghabol sa mga subjects. Maraming nasagasaan na subjects nung tragedy eh. As I've said before, I really wanted to move on. Meaning, I have to get rid of anything that drags my energy. Hindi na kac nakaka-tulong sobra.
It was wednesday afternoon, we don't have classes that time. so, job fair lang talaga yung pinunta ko. After updating my resume, I headed to the library to study. Humiram ako ng book sa Civil Law section tapos dun ko binasa sa Soc Sci kac nadun yunf favorite spot ko, malapit sa window. Anyway, pagkatapos ko basahin ung book, pumunta na ako sa Civil Law para ibalik yung book. Nung papunta na ako, sumayad yung favorite kong flip flops (ingat na ingat pa naman ako dun kac it's very rare), nasira xia, as in! Papunta ako sa Civil Law, kinakaladkad ko yung flip flops ng paa ko, at mabuti na lang medyo flared yung pants ko kaya medyo tago yung paa ko. Napunta na ako sa civil Law, kinakaladkad ko ung paa ko. Tapos pagpasok ko, may kaharap akong guy na lagi ko na lang xiang nakaka-sabay sa elevator at lagi ko xiang nakkta evrytime na may 'mishaps' na nangyayari sa ken sa library. *take note kamuka nya ung nasa pic* what i'm saying is that this was my encounter with him for the nth time. Pero ngaun, nagka-tinginan kami, at na-feel ko ang pagka-pahiya ko. Isip ako ng strategy na hindin obvious..sana. I faked a sprain, kunwari masakit ung paa ko. Hindi ko na kayang pumunta sa counter para kunin ung id ko, pina-abot ko na lang sa s.a. ung id ko. Grabe--kahiya!

*after nun, I asked myself, "mag-move on na kaya ako?" kac walng mangyayari saken kung naka-stuck ako sa trahedya na un di ba?. after that incident, parang bumabalik na onti-onti ung lhat sa normal. it was like everything fell into place----> astig! *

Moving on...

2006-03-06T05:11:00.000-08:00

=So what's with the flip flops? For me this is a sign of moving on. Yes, you got it right, I m moving on, I want to. =

Today is my last day of being a student. My day started right and it ended gracefully. Actually, I really wanted this day to be special. I planned my activities for the day and I made sure that I look my best. I embraced this day with enthusiasm and excitement. I'm really confident that God would guide me. There lots of things that I really look forward to.

I started this day right, pero there are people who tried to rain on my parade by attempting to treat me bad. Basta, they're so frigid and I really feel sorry for them. The heck! Honestly, they pissed me of. But I didn't allow them to ruin my day completely. tsk tsk tsk, pathetic whiners.

Then, we had our seminar this afternoon. After that I've realized that the people that really matters to me. Shucks! I'm going to miss them. Kac naman, I've focused so much on the "wrong" people. Pero, I've saved the best for last. I'll rather stick with the people who really cared about me.

This day ended right. Basta, I'll just make another post for that,

anything goes

2006-03-01T22:58:00.000-08:00

i can't think of any title...
>i just had my oral exams in ethics. i'm done, finally.
> here are the list of things that i would really love to do after graduation or as soon as i have the luxury of time.
1. before i work, i'll rest for a month
2. take up yoga classes
3. help in our family business
4. watch european flicks-
next time na lang iba, tinatamad na ako..

the hell with valentines

2006-02-13T15:53:00.000-08:00

Oh my God, it's valentines day uh-gain. So what's the big deal about it right?

Yes, I admit,I hate this ocassion

i hate this occassion because this is just the same as April fool's, Why?.. let me quote jessica zafra, to explain things further. Here are the things that i've learned from her article, "VALENTINES, APRIL FOOLS, WHAT'S THE DIFF?"

Valentines and April Fool are just the same, they just differ on the date being celebrated

During February 14, most people exaggerate their way of expressing their feelings, leaving their "so-called" loved ones disillusioned. Moreover,people tend to "sugar-coat" everything . I pity those people who are easily persuaded by "mushy stuffs" or what we call empty words/promies. Thank God, I'm not one of them-Haha! While on April 1, prankster's come out of their shells and victimize other people. In these ocassions, 2 types of individual's emerged : the nang-uutos(decievers) and the u2u2's (gullible)

Valentines day deprives people of their fundamental right to choose when to express their feelings.

This occassion fosters the notion that romantic feelings need be expressed only once a year. This is not an acceptable behavior for us human beings since we need constant doses of positive reinforcement.

It forces you to make a decision you are not prepared to make

This may cause some individuals to act on impulse. For example, a hopeless romantic person desperately seeks to find a date just to charm the day. Then on the next day , he will come to realize his date is not the one that he wanted. (this is really a common tendency to guys---the LESSER BEINGS).

Valentines Day discriminates mercilessly against persons who are not currently involved in relationships

The sight of couples engaged in public displays of affection is enough to make unattached persons feel like emotional retardates. Even if you are perfectly happy not to be involved with someone, Valentines Day aspersions upon you. I am affiliated with SMS(Sarap Maging Single). Meaning ,I'm happy being single. I hate Feb 14 is beacause the society boxed this ocassion for lovers. Hey! What about singles, like me?! Isn't this ocassion meant for spreading Love? I mean , it's not just romantic love, right? Oh well what can I do to change the perception of the people. We're already on the post-modern era, and not on Romanticism. I guess, people should have a better understanding about this matter. I'm a pragmatic person and i assure you that I won't get carried away by the bandawagon.
So, I guess that what I've just stated above would substantially justify and rationalize why i hate this freaking ocassion.

THE HELL WITH VALENTINES

fx moment (simple lang)

2006-02-04T22:03:00.000-08:00

8:30 pm
i was on my way home. nag-aabang ng fx sa p.noval. after a few minutes of waiting. nakasakay na rin ako. finally.

-mga katapaat ko ang dalawang taong maingay na super panget ang vocabulary. mga walang breedng, senseless, sayang ang porma nila. tsk tsk tsk.

-enough of that. kakatapos lang nang defense, kelangan ipahinga muna ang icp. everything's plain and simple. npaka-blangko ng icp ko. i don't have anything to think about, except, magpahinga.

-->nagbayad ako. inabot ko sa tao sa harapan ko. bigla syang humarap--ano 'to? fx moment?

looks' familiar, have we met b4?--i wanted to ask these questions to that person, i just can't.

'kaw ba c ALDO? (ay, psycho statement na namn, hija!) nd ko tlga cnabi to

'hawig sya ni xtian bautista--oo totoo yon.

natulog muna ako sandali...

perfect and timing..

pagkagcing ko..sakayan na ng nia...

kami na lang ang natira sa fx...

bumaba na ako..

sumakay na ako ng jeep...

napaicp ako: cno un?

"father, I love you kasi!!!"

2006-01-13T01:05:00.000-08:00

*may nakapag kwento lang sa kin nito. it seems to be fictional, anyway, i find it stupid and at the same time, hilarious(kahit papaano). hindi ako ang bida dito.

*we were in grade six back then, when we had our first retreat. isa lang an retreat master nun na nag-handle sa 4 sections. yes, he's good looking(meztizo, matangkad), at ang daming nagkaka-gandarapa sa kanya.unfortunately, i'm not one of them. nd kac sya hawig ni prince william eh. hehehe. i don't like him, kac he's very arrogant. kaya sa mga sessions, nd ako maka-pag disclose agad..

so, eto na nga, nangyari daw 2 sa ibang section. there was this girl, and we really label her as "biatch", as in everybody seems to hate her, kac she's so mean. nung isang session daw nung evening, they were not asked to bring anything. eto daw sya, nagdala ng magazine. they were asked to settledown, para maka-pag start. basa pa rin sya, kasama ung barkada nya. until they caught fr. j's attention. nagalitc father , at cnabi nya na "bkt ka nagadala nyan, di sabi ko walang kelangang dalin?!" nagulat daw ung ibang tao nung cnabi nung girl na to "FATHER, I LOVE YOU KASI!!!" she just did that to catch his attention...wrong move...

remote control and the panic/discussion room

2006-01-10T06:39:00.001-08:00

another psycho moment na naman ang nangyari kahapon...

we are currently having our thesis meeting yesterday sa discussion room sa library. clear ang glass ng bawat room, kaya makkta mo bawat taong dumadaan. may dumaan na mga law students, ung isa sumenyas, kung nasa amin ung remote. tapos, sumagot naman ung isang classmate ko, sbi nya wla at sumesenyas sya ng parang may tinittxt. so ganun, umalis na cla papunta sa knilang room. nang biglang humirit ung classmate namin, "sabi ko sa kanya wala akong cell phone" (she's referring dun sa guy na naghanap nung remote).so tawa naman kami, ang biglang nag-react ung nasa kabilang room(cla pala un), "'kala nya hinihingi ko ung number o", tapos, tumawa din cla. so ako gumanti, sbi ko, "hahaha, narinig pla tau". at nakitawa din kami. so in short, twanan ang nsa 2 room: kami at cla. tawa na kung tawa. after mga 10 mins, kumatok ung librarian sa 'min kung kami daw ba ung maingay? syempre, sabat naman ako, sbi ko nd, pero ung kasama humingi ng apology. hay nku, kutob ko, ung mga law students ung nag-sumbong(msama mag judge, hmm). kung cla man.. hello?! 2mawa din cla

*kac naman, bakit naman nd sound proof ung discussion room sa ust?kaya nga discussion eh, the technology kac naman, pare, it was like 1611? anong petsa na?!pero, in fairness humahabol ang skul namin...

remote control and the panic/discussion room

2006-01-10T06:39:00.000-08:00

catastrophes, mishaps--whatever you call it!

2006-01-03T09:53:00.000-08:00

*ang maka-nkasulat dito ay pawang katotohanan. may tinago ang kanilang mga pangalan upang ang kanilang mga pagkatao'y mapangalagaan. 'wag tutularan, wag gagayahin ng mga bata, nyek!< hmmm pyscho statement na naman>

la bella

about 3 years ago, nung una kong na-encounter c bella flores. naalala ko nung time na madalas kong ginagaya ung boses nya (that husky, creepy voice). so here it goes.. nakapila kami ng friend ko sa watsons sa sm north, nang biglang sumingit tong c bella flores sa pila namin at gumawa pa ng eksena. "ang haba ng pila dito darling". and i was like, ano ba 'to "pa-star", damatands naman. grabe ung outfit nya, tanda ko pa na she's wearing this skimpy shorts and shirts with a foral bandana na spring colors, ung pambahay na nilagayan ng arte, at ang make-up, nd pantay ung kulay ng mukha sa leeg. tapos eto ang friend ko, pinakitaan ako ng 500 pesos, she dared me na magpa-AUTOGRAPH kay bella, then i'll get the money, pwdng pagkain, ako na daw ang bhala. so i asked her.(500 din un noh!) nanginginig pa ako when i flashed her a smile. it's really nerve wracking, sobra! then sabi nya "never mind, we will get to know each other soon". ang daming taong nkaka-kita nung incident. nd lang dahil napahiya ako, wala rin akong 500. tapos, tinanong pa nya kung san kami nag-aaral, sabi na lang namin, "excuse me, but we really have to go na po" bigla kaming takbo ng friend ko. parang gusto naming mag-maskera sa hiya... :p

lesson: wag nyo kaming tutularan

wow! Hotdog

eto, medyo unforgettable. second year ako nung nangyari to:

bumibili kami ng classmate ko sa coop ng tuna sandwich. may bibilin lang ako sa kabilang stall, tapos pinabantay ko sa kanya ang wallet ko. pag balik ko sa stall na un, may nakita akong guy na nagla-lagay ng ketchup sa hotdog, nd na ako tumingala kac ina-assume ko na sya un, tangkad kac eh. so, nag-biro ako, "WOW HOTDOG!, PAHINGI NAMAN". (ang stupid pa ng itsura ko, ung dilat na dilat na enthusiastic, bsta ganun).then, only to realize na nd sya ung classmate ko, then bigla nagulat ung guy at nag-taka,he was like, ay beket?!! classmate ko nasa kabilang dulo pa, nkta nya ung nangyari, and we couldn't stop laughing afterwards. sabi ko sa kanya, "dude,2mawa muna tau bago mo kunin ung order mo". --grabeng psycho moment 'to

malabong mata

bsta, sorry kung mabasa mo 'to. anonymous ka naman eh. papunta kami ng friend ko sa benavidez para mag-kwen2han ng masinsinan. nung nasa hall way kami. nkta namin na pasalubong ung crush ko nung time na un. sbi ko sa friend ko nung palapit ung guy "c dino, ung naka-commerce na uniform na matangkad, pasalubong, wag kang maingay bka mkhalata" nagka-salubong nag kami nung crush ko, biglang humirit ung friend ko "uy ghel, ang gwapo pala nya eh"<:take note:1. katapat na namin ung guy nung cnabi nya un 2.ang lakas tlga nang boses nya, as in harapan nya na kasalubong > shucks!!! napahiya ako. iba pala ung nkita nung friend ko. sa inis ko, gusto kong mag-freak out sa inis, pero super sorry naman ung friend ko eh. but from then on, pag nagkaka-salubong kami nung guy, parang gugustuhin ko na lang maging invisible. for a while, i feel that i don't have the face to show him.

Live for today

2005-12-30T03:58:00.000-08:00

Live For Today -by natalie grant

Sittin' in my room staring at the wall
Wonderin' about the meaning of it all
Why is it this thing called life
Has got me goin' crazy
So I open up your word and let it speak to me
The purpose and the plan that you've designed
Is clear to see, and I believe

Chorus:
I'm gonna live for today
I'm gonna follow in your way
I'm gonna let my little light shine
Like there's no tomorrow
I won't worry about the past
I know my future is intact
So I'll choose to live my life one way
I'm gonna live it for today

You told me not to worry
About what lies ahead
So I am gonna focus on today instead
Making every moment count and counting
Every single blessing
I'm gonna set my mind on the
Here and the Now
This is what I want my life to be about
And this is How...

reality bites.

2005-12-27T07:03:00.000-08:00

fyi: i haven't watched that movie yet, by march cguro. (irelevant 'to)

ok, let me get this straight: ito ang mga bagay na madalas naiicp ko

1 week na akong petix, ung nd natutkan ung dapat kong gawin. omigod! anong ginawa ko sa mga araw na lumipas?!pero syempre pasko, cno bang kj ang magpapaka-sipag sa mga panahong un noh?(naicp ko lang) damn it! mabuti na lang, it's never too late to get things done (i'm referring to school stuffs here. ayoko nang isa-isahin, tsk tsk tsk, delikado na.
bsta,k nd ako papasok nang nd ako handa bec of the ff reasons:
1) ayokong ma-okray ng prof sa labor
2) gusto ko nang mag-bagong buhay, this is my last chance to prove myself
3) at dahil last chance ko na, might as well, pagbutihan ko na, di ba?

may mga bagay na kelangan ko pag-ukulan ng pansin aside from my studies. syempre nanjan ang ibang importanteng bagay sa buhay: my personal relationship with god,my friends, family, etc. without them, i won't have the confidence to face my daily struggles. ( i hope that makes sense)

eto ang madalas sumagi sa icp ko: bkt nd ko magawang, ma-attach ulit, emotionally? (u know what i mean). i guess, hinanap ko muna ang sarili ko, bago ko hanapin c ALDO (codename for my ideal guy). now, it's been a while. but it's weird kac, whenever i told myself that i'm ready to take the risk to fall for a person, i would end up realizing that, that person belongs to someone else or after someone else. lagi na lang ganito.
but, i came to point where, i can't fool myself anymore. i have to deal with this. i have to start somewhere. i can't make a person like me. maybe, god wants me to have a "purposeful singleness". maybe, this is not the right time to settle down, as they say, the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. there is so much more to see in my life. hard as it may seem, i would not put my life on hold, waitng for that someone. nako, nka-msira ulo ko! if i'm going to calculte the time i've wasted for that someone. bka naka 5 seasons na ako ng OC. so, syang!
I know i'm young, and i'm going to meet more people. i'll meet him cguro when i least expected it. kac, God knows that I love surprises, kaya nga gusto nya i-divert ung attention ko. para nd ako ma dissappoint di ba? well, kelangan ko cguro isang tabi ung mga ganyan, kelangan ko muna icp kung pa'no ako mkaka-tapos.

i don't mind if i'm the most attractive or smartest person in the class. bsta, all i know is i'm real, or i should say original because i don't want others to impose orders on me,and most of all i don't want to become a stereotype...

free!

2005-12-21T22:05:00.000-08:00

there's one thing that i want to do right now--- to break away! i want to rechanrge my inner batteries, to recollect my thoughts, and most of all, i want to communicate with God. because of my cluttered life, i want to go and find out what God really wanted to do with my life.

i'm going to graduate this march, and i want to get things done. i want to look back with pride,not with resentment.

a walk in a park will do, basta all i want is to get away from my daily activities, for a moment. i want to clear my mind from worries from school, home, etc.

despite of being a sister, friend, and student--i am ME. I am entrusted with a life that's solely mine.

This is the golden age of my life and i want to make the most out of it. I know that there will always be bad times, but all of these are just transitory, it leaves no permanent mark.

Now, I don't want to think about what other people say about me. I'd rather focus on what God thinks. I don't want to limit myself in my present situation. I know everything will be fine. Whatever happens to me, he will make my path straight.