Tuesday, January 30, 2007

new year

it's been 30 days i welcomed the year 2007. i remembered that before the clock turned 12, i think i did something crazy. i burned everything that would make me hold on to my past.(pictures, letters, etc.) i burned "our picture" because everytime that i look at it, it just gives me false hopes..absurd isn't it? i realized that my life will not change if i always think the same way.
looking back, 2006 has been a good year for me. but, i believe, this year will be much better because i know that God will bless my life more.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Don't Quit



When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow -
You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt -
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

wake up.. reality bites

it's really hard to live a lie. what happened yesterday is like getting hit by a fourteen-wheeler truck. i've realized that even if people say that you're great, special and all that, there would still be those who would make you feel stupid. i can't understand why, it' s unfair. nobody deserves to be treated that way. as far as i'm concerned, i'm not doing anything that would made him treat me that way. i can't talk to him, i can't face him right now. i don't know how to react, so i need some space to figure things out... i may feel down right now, but tommorrow, i'll bounce back.


Monday, December 04, 2006

kanina

i was about to ride an fx..when i saw the "pen owner"... baba na sana ako...

kaso lang....
mahaba ang pila.... (exodus, pare)

may 2 options ako:
a) bumaba ako at sumabay sa kanya, yun nga lang, male-late ako
b)nd bumaba at nd sya makasabay,pero makakapasok ako on time
pinili ko ang letter b...
fx moment sana noh?
pero trabaho muna...

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

asteeg kahapon!

i can't put it into words, bsta, masaya ako, tapos. idadaan ko na lang sa video..

malapit na ang christmas

i really enjoy this video, as in

Friday, October 20, 2006

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Q& A ulit

I love answering hotsheets, probably because i don't have time to publish long entries, unlike before. (i got this from bianca)

1.What is it about you that people don't reallynotice?
- i'm really tough inside.


2. What do people commonly mistake you for?--a high school student

3. Are you insecure?-- all of us has insecurities.

4. Do you think you're attractive? i don't know

5. Do you find it easy to trust people?-- no

6. Do you have a really big secret?--- yes

7. If yes, how many people have you told about it?--- none

8. How are you when you get mad?--- it depends on the situation

9. What do you do when you're bored?--- eat.
10. Do you enjoy doing nothing?-- yes.

11. Are you comfortable in being alone?-- yes

12. Do you think watching the sunset or the stars is fun?-- yes, it's the perfect moment to get in touch with myself
13. Do you like the rain?-- yes,yes,yes.
14. What can you say about poetry?-- vague thoughts expressed
15. Are you a phone person?-- not really.
16. Do you smoke weed?-- no
17. What song best describes how youfeel?-- everybody wanst you by josh kelley
18. What impossible thing do you want to do right now?-- to be in two places at the same time
19. What is missing in your life right this moment?-- ju and chery
20. aRe you happy with the way thingsare going in your lovelife?--i don't have one, but i enjoy being single
21. Are you sure?-- yes!)22. Where were you today?-- office, unwinding after a long day's work
23. What did you do today?-- encode, print labels, and the list goes on

24. Who were you with today?-- with my boss.
25. What are you planning to do now?-- go home and sleep.

mrt moment

emotions are not reliable. really. last monday, i guess, i lied to myself. i'm down and i really wanted to talk to someone else. i had this feeling that i don't want to go home early. basta gusto ko na lang ung matutulog ako.

i was on my way to powerbooks when i saw a 'familiar face'. nagkasabay kami sa mrt. to make the long story short, i had a great conversation with him. this moment reminded me of the movie , "Before Sunset". it's just about shared interest, nothing serious about it. but, i feel better. ay ewan.


*last

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

ay ewan

i can't think of any title, so eto na lang....

ngaun ko lang ata na-realize kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng salitang "trabaho". hindi kac ako na-bakante, these past few days.

this is it, i have to be on my own, as in kinakailangan kung gumawa ng diskarte sa lahat ng bagay (hindi lang sa work, sa iba pa, basta, un na un). recently, nabigla ako sa mga nangyari: 1) my grandfather died 2) nlaman ko na may gf pala ung friend ko. ..nd ko naman alam eh. hehe. 3) bnigyan ako ng mag responisbilities na dapat kuya ko ang gumagawa..pathetic 4) etong person from the past, gusto na naman atang bumalik sa eksena..sus!

ung #1 , tanggap ko na. na-express ko na ung emotion na kailangan. i'm happy for him because he's making music in heaven. number 2, masaya ako dahil dun sa "keyboard moment". pero nagulat ako nung nkta ko ung gf nya. tinukso kac cla nung mga pipol.nd pala joke un, "true" pala .mabuti na lang hindi kami ang ginawang pair. ok lang un, sayang ang friendship. grabe number 3, i have to deal with it. wla akong, magagawa, it's part of my responisbility as a daughter. damn! number 4, he's not the type of person that i really want . i gave him so many chance before, pero,tama na ang kalokohan! i moved on. ---- i made a huge mistake in my life, i should've not wasted my time with a person who doesn't give a damn about me. i have to face it, i don't deserve the treatment that he gave to me before. tapos, ngaun, babawi?! It's his loss. i'd rather spend time with other people than make a stupid move again. non me ne frege.

so un ang gustong sabihin....

Saturday, September 30, 2006

friends: how much i miss them



i've realized that i'm living the kind of life that i truly wanted : i have a job, i'm serving in a community, and i finally have the time to help my family. these are the things that i asked God. finally, i'm having the time of my life.

but, it would be so much better if my friends were here. there were things that i could only disclose to them. but were busy wih our own lives. we chose different paths, we're on our own. i

yes, i really miss my friends. we've been together for 4 years, they're the reason why my college life became interesting. i am my own person now, but i won't have the confidence, if they didn't help me. it's different without them.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

joyfully single

21 years old, not exactly young, not exactly old.(unattached for six years, hehe) one thing's for sure, i have lots of "growing up" to do. but at this age, i'm fully aware that i should have certain maturity. this is the time that i have to be responsible in the different roles that i have : a sister, a friend, an employee, and a child of God.
i am still adjusting in the new phase of my life where i'm regarded as an adult. i have to balance quirkiness and maturity/ work and play. this is the art that i want to learn. besides i consider myself as a student of life & learning. because i believe that learning does not stop in school. but now, i am in the stage, where theory and practice goes hand in hand.
so what does these have with my singleness?
i'll get things straight. my point is that being a single person means that we should utilize the gifts and talents that God bestowed on us. this is the time that we need to strive to become the man/woman that God wants us to be. this is my struggle as i follow his foot steps. as a single person, i want to serve God through the people that i work with.
unattached for six years? so what?! this is the time to get in touch with myself and with the things that i'm passionate about. instead of putting my life on hold, waiting for that person to come, i would get in touch with what i truly wanted. besides, how would others appreciate me if don't appreciate myself. i want to become to a secured individual before i meet that person.

joyfully single

21 years old, not exactly young, not exactly old.(unattached for six years, hehe) one thing's for sure, i have lots of "growing up" to do. but at this age, i'm fully aware that i should have certain maturity. this is the time that i have to be responsible in the different roles that i have : a sister, a friend, an employee, and a child of God.
i am still adjusting in the new phase of my life where i'm regarded as an adult. i have to balance quirkiness and maturity/ work and play. this is the art that i want to learn. besides i consider myself as a student of life & learning. because i believe that learning does not stop in school. but now, i am in the stage, where theory and practice goes hand in hand.
so what does these have with my singleness?
i'll get things straight. my point is that being a single person means that we should utilize the gifts and talents that God bestowed on us. this is the time that we need to strive to become the man/woman that God wants us to be. this is my struggle as i follow his foot steps. as a single person, i want to serve God through the people that i work with.
unattached for six years? so what?! this is the time to get in touch with myself and with the things that i'm passionate about. instead of putting my life on hold, waiting for that person to come, i would get in touch with what i truly wanted. besides, how would others appreciate me if don't appreciate myself. i want to become to a secured individual before i meet that person.

all in a day's work

" Collect your thoughts whenever you suffer a setback and ask yourself what good can be extracted from your misfortune. Look for the seed of good from every adversity."
-OG MANDINO

I had a rough day at work. I won't go through the details. I'll focus on my learnings instead.

I was not productive these past few days and I've realized that I need to have a sense of urgency & speed, without sacrificing the quality of my work. I am an idealistic person. I want an "immaculately flawless work". but i know that it will never happen. besides, were only human and we're bound to make mistakes.

My grandfather died last sunday,(he's one of my mentors) but i just found that out yesterday---in the officei had mixed emotions. i went to the ladie's room and cried. after that, i washed my face and composed myself. i want to hide my emotions as much as possible.i want to be professional. i know for a fact that 'babies' are not allowed in the workplace. i want to prove that i can carry myself. it would affect me in some ways, but it would not expiate me from not perfroming well. indeed, i am responible for my actions.

what took place today is a humbling experience because i had the chance to see the areas that i need to improve.in fact, my morale was boosted when my boss crticized my performance. ironic isn't it? because is should have had negative feelings. pero wala... because i want to take this in a very "classy" way. just because i have performed poorly doesn't mean that i would be like this forever. as they say, "the bad becomes the better & the better becomes the best."

Finally, I've realized that God allows certain incidents (like this) to happen because he desperately wants us to learn and he wants us to make wise decisions.
Because of my learnings today, I know that I', going to become a better version of myself.

Friday, September 01, 2006

rainbow



that's how i describe my life. well, i've learned that God lets you go through a lot before you achieve what you want in life. after 3 months of job hunting, i got hired last wednesday in one of the biggest company in the country. i never thought that i will work there. it's really impossibe, i thought. but GOD is really great, we really can't comprehend his mind. but one thing that i'm sure about, is that our dreams are important to him. he wants us to live our life to the fullest.

going back, it was quite a journey. i can finally say that i moved on with my life. the drama ramas of yesterday was not important anymore. all i have are the lessons that i've learned. i hope i won't do that again. at one point or another, i will make mistakes, but i won't do the same thing again. i'm starting a clean slate and i don't want my life to be haunted by my past.

i don't want my life to become complicated. all i need is my faith in God and a positive attitude, then, everything else will follow.

i'm a dreamer and i dream of big things. i can't have everything want at the same time, but i'll relish whatever i have right now. my life is not perfect, i have lots of struggles as i follow christ's foot steps. but, i've realized that God uses our experiences so that we can make wise decisions. that's how much he believes in us.
i want to be in the present, and i'll live my life one day at time

Saturday, August 19, 2006

isn't he cute

i was never a fan of mexican novelas but this video caught my attention. syempre gael is here and would you believe he was just 14 in this clip? --para lang syang 10. hehe


one traumatic day

sometimes you've got to know yourself when you're faced with an unlikely situation. that's when you don't have your friends or family around to protect you.
yesterday, my mom and i filed a complaint against an employee from prudential life because of harassment. while wating for the contact person in the reception room, i read a novel. then, this guy (a jason of PBB look-alike) approached me. "miss anu yang binabasa mo" his tone was like that of kuya boji of batibot, and i was really irritated. "a novel of isabel allende" i replied coldly. sa isip isip ko lang, "hello?! hindi pre school or retarded ung kausap ko mo noh!". I moved away from him, but the more i moved away, the more he leaned his face towards my cheek. ung halos halikan ako. yeah, i almost freaked out. ..my mom didn't do anything kac she's tested me on how would i react. super iwas na talaga ako, sumisiksik na ako sa mom ko pero ang kulit pa rin nya. then, timing naman na dumating na ung contact person namin.

akala ko tapos na, then he enterd the scene again when i was left alone in the table kac may tinatawagan ung mom ko and she was accompanied by the contact person. he was aking questions like, my degree, etc. i didn't answer his questions because he's really acting rude na. sa inis ko, i just told him "alam mo, may kamukha ka.." "oo c jason, maraming nagsasabi" he replied with an annoyed look. then bumalik ung mom ko and the contact person. akala ko mahihiya na sya, pero sabat pa rin sya ng sabat. epal tlaga! to make things worse, bigla syang bumanat sa akin " umusog ka jan, uupo ko!" i gave him an angry stare, that i would almost slap his face. ung gusto nyang isiksik ung sarili nya sa inuupuan ako. then his companion, told him, "pare, may upuan dito" tapos talak sya ng talak hanggang sa wala nang nkknig sa kanya. F*ck tlga! i wish he's dead.when we left that company i was really infuriated. when we were in the elevator i told my mom " u shouldv'e been smarter, dapat alert ako, pero i'm not feeling well today kaya medyo slow ako. i want to go back there and beat that guy!" pinigil lang ako ng mom ko. she told me that we would do something about that tommorow.

on the next day my mom talked to the manager and told him what happened. then when my mom requested to talk to vincent papa (yes, that's the guy), he refused to talk to us. then the manager told us that she would call us back regarding on the course of action that they will do. after three hours, the manager called back. She asked me to relay again what really happened. then, she apologized first then told me the course of action that they will do. according to the manager, the guy will be suspended for 15 days. she also explained to me that he was actually the quiet type. they were shocked when they found out that he dispalyed a bizaare behavior. it was the first time daw na nangyari yun. she added that, that guy lost his father a week ago. pero i told the manager to tell the guys that at his age he must have certain maurity, in sense that he should detach his personal issues from his professional life. in fact, his father's death could not justify what he did to me.

i've learned my lesson. when i'm faced with a similar situation, i know what to do. * u're dead!

Sunday, July 30, 2006

quiz quizan

Can you name 21 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 21 people.

Ready, Start!

1. Gael Garcia Bernal aka Padre Amaro
2. Sitti
3. faith
4. tseri
5. julie
6. ode
7. jun
8. dar
9. peter
10. iking
11. telle
12. bianx
13. nicloe
14. caroline
15. mam ellar
16. mam chrisma
17. vanjo
18. cocoy
19. mike abrera
20. renz
21. ALDO

THE QUESTIONS:

1. How did you meet 14?
C caroline, classmaate kami nung grade 5, naging close kami since then
2. What would you do if you never met 6?
wla akong makikilalang beatles fanatic; she's such a wonderful person
3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
nd pwede, parehas na boys
4.Did you ever like 5?
of course! best friend ko yan sa college eh
5. Would 4 and 12 make a good couple?
nd pwede parehas na girls
6. Describe 8.
c dar, matalino, goth, eccentric, asteeg!

7. Do you think 13 is attractive?
c nicole, syempre. may brains pa yan! san ka pa!

8.Tell me something about 17.
c vanjo kasundo ko sa chicken balat & other lamang loob. at syempre ung Apparition

9. Do you know any of 4's family members?
c ju, yes

10. What's 21's favorite color?
no idea

11. What would you do if 18 confessed he/she likes you?
haha, 'funny', nd ako maniniwala, kac he's joking 4 sure

12. what language does 20 speak?
English, Tagalog,at trying hard mag spanish .

13. Who is 9 going out with?
no idea
14. What year is 16 in?
mam chrisma is 34 yrs old

15. When's the last time you talked to 13?
k nicole, 2 months ago

16. What is 2's favorite band?
cguro ung sitti kac vocalist sya nun eh
17. Would you ever date 7?
definitely no, may ode na xia eh

18. Would you ever date 12?
no c bianx un
19. Is 15 single?
mam ellar is married

20. What is 19's last name?
abrera

21. Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 11?
c telle, nd pwede gurl kami parehans

22. What school does 3 go to?
grad n ac faith

23. Where does 15 live?
sa manila daw

24. What's your favorite thing about 10?
serious when working, hilarious pag break time

25. Have you seen number 1 naked?
c Gael, nd pa. sana (ay hehe, bad! joke lang!)

el crimen del padre amaro

i would definitely reccomend this movie because the story was realistic. It was about a recently ordained priest who fell in love with a young girl who serves in the parish. At first, he was repressing her feelings for this girl, but in the long run, allowed lust to rule theirselves.Their lives were shattered afterwards.(He's very gorgeous and decent. You would really think that he's pure and all that. Apparently, he's not).

I suddenly remembered what sir atalia taught us in second year, that when you act in contrary of your belief, it means 3 things: a) mali ka, b)mali ang pinaniniwalaan mo,or c)mali parehas . This movie is really an eye opener to me, because it reminds me of the reality we are all vulnerable to temptations. But, it's up to us if we would give in or not. One of my struggles in life as a christian is purity. Ang hirap, talaga. Pero I think mas mahirap ung situation ng mga priests and nuns, because they always have to portray an image that they are pure and holy. But, they're only human and not saints. When I talked to this priest in school and I asked him to pray for our thesis, he replied," Kami din, ipagdasal nyo, mas kailangan namin un." Indeed, he's right.

Then, na realize ko, ok pa palang maging ordinaryong tao. I'm still blessed because I don't live in a constricted universe.

I can't deny the fact that I found Gael (gal) Garcia Bernal aka Padre Amaro attractive. Sana ganun c ALDO (cla tseri lang ang nkaka-alam nun), ung mukha ha! When I've watched the steamy scenes,(kahit saan kac nagla-lampungan, na parang walang bukas!) nandiri ako sa character nya! Kung ano kac ung ikina-gwapo nya, un ung ipinangit ng ugali nya. wag naman sana ganun, di ba?!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

kahapon

hindi ko alam kung anong dapat title ng entry ko na 'to. i'll just post it anyway.

i can't forget how got totally exhausted yesterday. after waiting for almost 3 hrs, my interview sucked. na-mental block kac ako. i didn't do well in the interview. ilang beses na akong nai-iinterview, parang kailangan ko na talagang matuto. mahirap mang sabihin, i'll just charge it to experience.

then bigla kong naicp ung quote ko na narinig ko sa 98.7 "sometimes, when u didn't get what u want, it's actually a stroke of luck."

well, i think it's a blessing in disguise. no matter how crappy i feel today. i'll be honest with myself and try to look on the positive side of every adversities that i encounter.