I have to let 'you' go

I just wanted to move on from my past

Why I love Ugly Betty

I've been an avid fan of this sitcom since it started..Well, let the video clip speak 4 itself.

As I carry my cross...

Before, I'm always looking forward to Christmas. But now, I don't because it's just another ordinary day.

It was 2005, I'm a graduating student back then when I found out that my parents are going to separate. I thought I could handle it well, but I can't. As schoolwork piled up, so was my emotions. At first, my thesismates were compassionate and supportive. But just like other human beings, they grew tired of me. I only have myself to count on. Sometimes, I just like to quit. But, God always picked me up during my depressing moments. I consider it a miracle to graduate from college because, my grades were slipping down, and there was even a time when I walked out of the classroom for no apparent reason. One of my professors even told me that my performance was getting worse. Everyday was a struggle. Graduation came, my whole family was with me, but Dad became distant to us. I tried to embrace him, but he resisted. I don't even know why.

That was the time I began to despise christmas. Before, we used to gather for dinner, but now Dad (while he was still in the country) would play cards with his "kumpares", Mom would clean the house, my brothers don't give a damn. I, on the other hand would lock myself inside my room and read a book. I envy those people who have their family together. Sana ako rin.
I felt detached from my family. I maybe blessed with material things and other stuffs that I need. But,they don't even know what I really ask from them. Call me dramatic but, that's how I really feel inside-broken.

Despite of my brokeness, I still hold on to my personal relationship with God.

Dadating din ang araw mo

Just when I thought that I've recovered from the past, a certain encounter would prove me that I'm wrong.

I thought that I've gotten over it, I mean the incident took place two years ago. But when we crossed paths again, I cringed. I suddenly remember how I felt that day when he humiliated me in front of a crowd.

I know that I should not make the first move, but I 'm just being friendly.

As soon as I began to approach him, I tried to strike a conversation. Being disinterested or annoyed by my presence, he flashed his phone in front of my face and texted. A few minutes later, he left me and said "Ghel, iwan muna kita ha, may nakalimutan kasi ako sa bahay eh." I just nodded. Those people at the back, shot me with dagger looks because, pina-singit lang ako dun.

At that moment, I felt that I was a JOKE, a big one. Because I allowed myself to be victimized by a jerk. That's the time when I began to experience the fear of getting emotionally attached with someone. I hate the feeling of being played with someone. I've had similar experiences, but this one hit me big time. Before, I tried to forgave that person and move on. But, this time, I'm really tired.

Sometimes, i just wanted to say things in front of his face. Gusto ko siyang murahin. But I really can't because it's been a long time. He might have forgotten about it already. Besides, most guys are insensitive and he's not an exemption. The best thing that I can do is that I can blog about and let other people know how horrible he was.

Honestly speaking, I find it hard to trust most of the guys that I've met.(I know it's weird). I would often doubt a person's intention towards me( even from someone that I like). One thing I've learned about this experience is that I should never let myself fall for a jerk that could make me blush.


For this person, you know who you are.... Dadating din ang araw mo.

You Know Who You Are

Please, don't pretend that you're 'ALDO' because you will never be.......

Bore someone else....

From Francia's Blog

1. When is the last time you held handswith someone?- eight years2. What should you be doing right now?- checking my multiply account3 . Have you ever crawled through awindow?- yes4. Where is your mom?- at home5 . Morning or night person?- morning6. What was the last movie you watched?- Little Black Book7. ...where?- at ho,e8. Any cool scars?- my newest scar from my grey jelly flats9. Things about the opposite/same sex you notice first:- smile10. What was the last cd you bought?- blank cd11 . Ever been in love?- yes..eight years ago12. What's something your friends makefun of you for?- late reactions13. What is your curfew?- 1 am14. Would you ever dye your hair red?- yes, but only streaks16. What's your worst personality flaw?- i worry too much17. What place would you most like to visit?- London1 8. Who's your best friend?- GOD19. Do you want a well paying job or ajob you enjoy?- both20. Do you wish to have the samefriends when you're older?-sure but of course i would love to have new friends too23. When were you last on the phone?- 3 hours ago25 . Do you like math?- nope26. What about history?- nope27. Have you ever seen 5 squirrels at one time?- nope28 . Can you touch your nose with your tongue?- nope,29. Do you have a brother?- yes, o3 of them30. Did your great granddad fight inthe civil war?- yes31. Who's your favorite person to talkto?- my batchmate john32. Have you ever used photobucket?- nope33. Do you like hugs?- sure34. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?- at the moment, none35. Do you want to be a doctor?- not in a million years36. Have you ever fallen asleep withgum in your mouth?- yes, when I was eight37. What do you do right before you go to bed?- pray and listen to my ipod afterwards38. Right when you get outta bed?- take a bath39. Do you love your parents?-yes40 . What music are you listening toright now:- So Perfect by MYMP41. Do you want to be famous?- yes for the right reasons42. Do you spend a lot of time thinkingabout life?- YES!43. Do you do your own laundry?- yes45. Do you believe in love?- yes, even if I failed a thousand times46. Ever want to sky dive?- yes47. When was the last time you got angry?- when I was not included in our departments meeting48. Are you addicted to MySpace?- nope49. Would you classify yourself as clever?- somehow50. What do you hate the most at the moment?- PMS

I'm Only Human

To start with my entry, I would like to remove the persona that I portay in the workplace, in the community, and in my family. For now, I would like to be me with no pretentions at all.

I can say that I'm blessed with people that sees my worth, that I can see the human face of God.

I'm also blessed to have a parent that inspite my stubbornes and my other shortcomings, loves me for who i really am . I'm grateful to be that God continues to give me opportunities to discover myself. Despite of all these things, I still feel that I don't have the gutts to face God, because of those things that I despise about myself. I've been serving for 2 years, It really lifts my spirit whenever someone got inspired from my sharing about my personal relationship with God. But, whenever I utter words or do something that intend to hurt other people, I start to cringe. Then, I asked myself, "Am I worthyt to His child?" Guys, I am a hypocrite.

This is my struggle: I've realized that the more you serve God, the more people would expect from you. Because, you should always set an example for them. This is the bitter reality that I have to face, this is the hurdle that I want to surpass.

I would always make mistakes. More often that not, it took me 2 or 3 stumbling blocks to learn a principle.

I'm only human

Heath Ledger found dead in NYC

Source: omg.yahoo.com

NEW YORK - Heath Ledger was found dead Tuesday at a downtown Manhattan apartment, naked in bed with sleeping pills nearby, police said. The Australian-born actor was 28. It wasn't immediately clear if Ledger had committed suicide.
He had an appointment for a massage at a residence in the tony neighborhood of SoHo, NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said. A housekeeper who went to let him know the massage therapist had arrived found him dead at 3:26 p.m.
A large crowd of paparazzi and gawkers gathered outside the building on an upscale block. Ledger's body was still inside, and several police officers guarded the door.
The medical examiner's office planned an autopsy Wednesday, spokeswoman Ellen Borakove said.
While not a marquee movie star, Ledger was a respected, award-winning actor who chose his roles carefully rather than cashing in on his heartthrob looks. He was nominated for an Oscar for his performance as a gay cowboy in "Brokeback Mountain," where he met Michelle Williams, who played his wife in the film. The two had a daughter, Matilda, and lived together in Brooklyn until they split up last year.
Ledger most recently appeared in "I'm Not There," in which he played one of the many incarnations of Bob Dylan ƒƒ‚‚ as did Cate Blanchett, whose performance in that film earned an Oscar nomination Tuesday for best supporting actress.
Ledger had finished filming his role as the Joker this year in "The Dark Knight," a sequel to 2005's "Batman Begins."
He's had starring roles in "A Knight's Tale" and "The Patriot," and played the suicidal son of Billy Bob Thornton in "Monster's Ball." He also played a heroin addict in the 2006 Australian film "Candy."
Before settling down with Williams, Ledger had relationships with actresses Heather Graham and Naomi Watts. He met Watts while working on "The Lords of Dogtown," a fictionalized version of a cult classic skateboarding documentary, in 2004.
Ledger was born in 1979 in Perth, in western Australia, to a mining engineer and a French teacher, and got his first acting role playing Peter Pan at age 10 at a local theater company. He began acting in independent films as a 16-year-old in Sydney and played a cyclist hoping to land a spot on an Olympic team in a 1996 television show, "Seat."
After several independent films, Ledger moved to Los Angeles at age 19 and co-starred opposite Julia Stiles in "10 Things I Hate About You," a teen comedy reworking of "The Taming of the Shrew."
Offers for other teen flicks soon came his way, but Ledger turned them down, preferring to remain idle than sign on for projects he didn't like.
"It wasn't a hard decision for me," Ledger told the Associated Press in 2001. "It was hard for everyone else around me to understand. Agents were like, 'You're crazy,' my parents were like, 'Come on, you have to eat.'"
His movie career caught on anyway, culminating with his Academy Award nomination opposite Jake Gyllenhaal in "Brokeback."
"Dark Knight" director Christopher Nolan said earlier this month that Ledger's performance as the Joker would be wildly different than Jack Nicholson's memorable turn in 1989's "Batman."
"It was a very great challenge for Heath," Nolan said. "He's extremely original, extremely frightening, tremendously edgy. A very young character, a very anarchic presence that taps into a lot of our basic fears and panic."
___
Associated Press Sara Kugler contributed to this report.

Why I came late today

I can't say that this is the worst day of the week, I just got pissed.

I was about to leave when my brother asked me the documents that he needed today.
To make the long story short, we prepare certain files for BIR yearly (for our family business), I wasn't able to update them from October to December last year. So, when I was asked, I told him, "I don't care if we're late". Of course, his temper flared. Honestly, I know i'ts rude to say that, but I'm still angry at him. Basta, something happened recently. Our Mom heard our quarrel.

Consequently, I had no choice but to rush those files. I started at 8 and finished by 12:30, without having my breakfast. Then, I got a call from my officemate, and accidentally yelled at her. Shucks! I should't do that in the first place...

Now, I've clearly seen the repercussions of slacking. I've realized that the more, you leave your work hanging, the more it would pile up, and the more frustrated you'll be.

One of the things that I want to work on is time management. Most people that I know who are successful have a strong sense of discipline. I emulate them, that's why I want to change obliterate my bad habbits, particularly the "petix" mode. Honestly, it's hard for me to admit that I am "tamad". But I have to acknowledge it, so that I could change for the better.

I 'm making an effort so that these things won't happen again. As they say, the bad becomes the better, and the better becomes the best..