JC TIUSECO: Ang laki ng ulo mo!

Enough said. I was really turned off with the guy's gesture last night.

I went to a certain Expo on which the guy was one of the guest performers. I was a huge fan of him after winning in a reality show and after watching his soap for a couple of months. I began to have an impression of him that he's the gentleman type. The kind of guy that I like. Apparently, I was wrong.


After his performance, some of us went backstage to chance upon, and hopefully take our pictures of him. When he stepped outside the tent, all of us were calling him. He's just three feet away from us, so i doubt if he won't hear his fans yelling. He passed as if he heard nothing. I was like, "What the heck?! Ang feeling mo."
He made his fans look stupid.

After that, I swear, I began to loathe him. I can't do anything about it and my only consolation is that I can blog about it and let everyone know how 'arrogant' he was. I mean, what was he thinking? He's just starting his showbiz career and acted as if he bagged awards from FAMAS to snub his fans like that. I would understand if Gabby Concepcion would do that, at least he's a famed actor.

One thing I've realized is that he's like those stars who just earned a certain amount of popularity and let it go through their head. It's lame and, should I say, 'Pathetic'.

Para kay DoorMatt

Omigosh, hindi ka talaga nakaka-tuwa. Nalulungkot ako sa mga mabibiktima mo, mabuti na lang at habang maaga, nakita ko na ang tunay na kulay mo. Sana ma-realize mo ung mga ka-bolahang ginagawa mo. Bago ka magtext ng sweet nothings sa iba, lalo na pag english, kindly check the Grammar Book first, nang di ka mapahiya. Don't flatter yourelf, dahil hindi ka naman kamukha nila Prince William or Heath Ledger para mag feeling. Anyway, this video is for you. Enjoy!

I saw the sign

To: ____

Natauhan na po ako. Di na mauulit.
Sorry

The other side of Mabahague

Stiff, Serious, and Snobbish are the best way to describe Sir Ernie. He's one of the professors that I liked the least in college. Honestly, his classes were intellectually stimulating but becomes dragging in the middle. Yes, he's good looking, but he's not my type at all. I usually go for guys who's taller than me.

Last Tuesday, I've seen the other side of him. We took the same fx on the way to Trinoma from UST. The moment that he hopped inside the fx, I called him and introduced myself as a former student. To my surprise, he offered to pay for our fare.Then, we began to converse about our batch, the latest happening in the university, and our travel experiences. I even shared to him one of my batchmate's embarassing experiences during graduation. He laughed. This is my first time to see him like that. He's not the usual temperamental professor we had in college.

"Sir, tumatawa ka pala" I told him
"Siyempre naman, tao din naman ako noh." he replied chuckling.

Indeed, first impressions are not always correct.

Si Renz Kasi

Yes, the title would be perfect for this entry.

I've been bothered for the past weeks because of what my brother did.
(Assumption lang)He just told the guy that I liked that I'm taken already.
Kaya ngayon, wala nang paramdam yung tao. It sucks to realize that ako ang naipit with what Renz did. Right now, I wanted to say the P word, but I can't.

I rarely feel this way, kaya it's sooo sayang.

One lesson that I've learned, never trust kids!

Omoshiro Japan!

Omoshiro (Amusing/Interesting), the best word to describe Japan. Last May 4, 2009 I went to Tokyo. I spent ten days touring around the city by train. From food to fashion, one can't wait to go back. This is my first time to step out of the country and I was really glad that I've been in one of the most expensive cities in the world.

how i wish...

Prince and me is one of my favorite romantic flicks. Though cheesy, it keeps me inspired to make my dreams turn into reality,and hopefully meet 'Aldo'

Lifehouse-Everything

Goodbye Spanky

Goodbye Spanky

Spanky was given to us by a family friend when I was in first year high school. I can still remember how hyper he was back then. Ang kulit nya, sobra. I got pissed most of the time because he was fond of biting my shoes. I can't recall how many pairs he damaged.
But, when he got older, his behavior changed. That was the time when I began to love him.
One time, I was looking for my pair of socks outside our house. I was so getting impatient because I can't really find it. Spanky suddenly crawled under the pile of basins, then I yelled, "Wag mong guluhin yan!" Then, he came out with my socks and gave it to me. Indeed, a dog is a man's best friend.Another experience that I would never forget about Spanky was when I had fight with my Dad, I stepped outside and cried. I decided to hug him, and he licked my my right cheek. I was really touched. On that moment, I've learned that dogs probably know how to sympathize. They can sense that there's something wrong.
They say that dogs and cats fight. It happens, but not in our home. My aunt gave us two cats last year.I'm afraid that Spanky might kill them. The next thing I know, he began playing with them.

Haaay, I wanted to write so much about this dog, but I guess that this blog entry would be enough to express how much I'll miss him.

I'm not really a pet lover. But, Spanky taught me how to love creatures like him.

Goodbye Spanky.

A Random Thought

They say, your room is an extension of yourself. It reflects your personality. For me, it represents your present state of mind or your life in general.

Three years had passed after my graduation and I felt that I'm still on the same ground. In other words, nothing significant happened in my life. It was stagnant. Just like my cluttered room, I have so many things that I wanted to do with my life. It's just that I don't know what step I'll take. Shucks, I'm really confused.

I've been agonizing for months and it dawned to me that I have to start somewhere. I was a dreamer once and I want to get my life back on track. My mom can't say that I have focus.
I want to live the life that I wanted. Really.

A fan of Q&A

1. Are you dating the last person you kissed?
No.

2. Pretend you've had 10 beers. Describe what you would be doing.
Drinking a hot cup of tea and eating a banana. I hate throwing up

3. What do you want?
To make my plans happen.

4. Who was the last person you shared a bed with?
None.

5. Do you talk to yourself?
Sometimes =))

6. Do you drink milk straight from the carton?
No, that's stupid

7. Who knows a secret or two about you?
Julie and Tseri

8. How long is your hair?
Below shoulders

9. Do you like Batman?

No, he's pretty hilarious:)

10. Who did you last hug?
My cat Peggy

12. Do you swear at your parents?
Yes.

13.Do you like anyone?
Yes ;)

14. When was the last time you lied?

Yesterday

15. When was the last time you cried?
Ewan. :P

16. Is your birthday on a holiday?
No, but it's a week before christmas

17. What instant messaging service do you use?
Y!M.

18. Last thing you cooked today?
Ampalaya with Magic Sarap..Yum!

19. Did you have a nap today?
Nope

20. Who's house did you go to last?
My cousin's

21. What are you currently listening to?
I'm feeling you by Michelle Branch

22. Why is the sky blue?

Because it complements the color of the sea.

23. Do you like green beans?
Yes

24. Do you swear a lot?
Yes

25. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?

From my closet

26. Have any regrets?
Yes.

27. Do you use an alarm clock?
Yes.

28. Where and when was your default MySpace picture taken?
From a scanned studio picture

29. What kind of camera do you have?
Canon.

30. Whats the first thing you notice on the preferred sex?
Ears (I know it's weird), eyes and teeth.

31. Is cheating ever okay?
No.

32. Do you want someone you can't have?

34. Do you wear underwear?
Of course! Wholesome ata ako

35. Who would you like to see right now?
Sam or Aldo.

36. How many baller IDs do you have?
Two

37. Are you a social or antisocial person?
Social :)

38. Did you ever like a teacher?
Yes, wayback in highschool from my upcat review class.

39. Would you ever drink tap water?
No.

40. What's something you regret?
Not saying the right words at the right time

41. Do you like garter head bands?
yes

42. How about plastic ones?
yes, but it depends on the design

43. What radio station(s) do you listen to?
Jam 88.3, and sometimes Wrock

45. Are you afraid of the dark?
Yes

46. What's your mouse pad?
Korean something

47. Do you miss someone today?
Yes!

48. Do you know what AWOL means/stands for?
Absence without leave, parang ganun

49. Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?
No, i burned all of them

Kapalit ni Sam

It's a good thing that my blog is not popular. But, I still have to be discreet about what I'm going to write.

For the past few weeks, I have been struggling to forget Sam because I know that my attraction with him won't get me anywhere. One day, I woke up from the reality that I should know where I should know where I stand.

I keep telling myself:

"Gusto ko siyang kalimutan!"

I don't know where to start until I saw his video



Naaliw ako bigla. Then, it dawned to me that I should not get stuck with one person, if I would meet others naman. O di ba? quits lang

Tungkol kay Sam ulit

I seldom meet interesting people in my life. Being attracted to them was not reason why they were interesting, but because of their 'Personal Legend'.
Personal Legend as Paulo Coelho defines as "the path that God chose for you here on earth."

I guess, Sam already found it. Mabuti pa siya.

I wanted to conduct an interview with him, but I guess I don't need to because someone already did. But that's okay, at least I won't be guessing who he really was. What made him interesting is
his mission. They say that many are called but few are chosen. For me, he's one of the chosen few. Not all of us would brave Mindanao, and he did.

I seldom meet people like him, that's why I took this chance to write an entry for Sam. After having a short conversation with him, I realized that I should surround myself with people who inspire others. People living for someone higher that themselves. That's how I know Sam. That's one of the quality that I want to emulate.


I'm looking forward on having more contemplative conversations with him. I won't let my attraction lead to somewhere. I promise. I'll just see him as a brother in Christ and nothing more.

Para sa dating pag ibig

Ok, magpka-teenager tayo!

Isang pag-hanga kay Sam

On my previous entries, i was mentioning about this person who's older than me. I would never reveal who this person was. Let's just call him Sam.

I seldom got attracted to the opposite sex because of my painful experiences in the past. Most of the guys I've met are jerks. In other words, the knight in shining armor that I hoped to meet turned out to be a loser wrapped in a tin foil. Naka-dala. Sobra.

At this point, I'm happy with or without a special someone. Well, I'm not closing my doors naman, it's just a matter of protecting myself from getting hurt for the wrong reasons. I'm trying to establish non-romantic relationships with guys and I'm focusing on the things that I truly wanted without a guy's influence.

I keep telling to my friends that I don't want to get distracted and that I won't allow anyone to get in my way. One day, it was about to change, I saw Sam. Kinumusta nya ako as he flashed his killer smile. No matter how dense I am towards the opposite sex, I still have weakness for this. Sorry, tao lang. At that moment,I mutterd, "Shucks, ang gwapo niya.I've never seen him for years." I know that I sound like a fifteen year old who's getting attracted with someone. But, let's face it, we were like teenagers during moments like this. No matter how old we are, we would still get giddy at times.


I know that there's nothing wrong with getting attracted to person like him. He's good looking and witty, definitely a no non-sense guy. He's way different from the guys that I've met.
The only thing is that, he's commited to serve God for the rest of his life. Two years ago, he made his vow of celibacy. Basta, yun na yun. Of course, as a twenty-four year old gal, I have to be responsible for my actions. I won't let attraction to rule my actions towards him. I'll put it this way, I'll just see him as a monoblock chair. Just like my Philosophy professor in college said, "Kulay lang siya". So, ganun na lang, para quits.

I've had comic encounters with him. The first one was during a mass when I came from a drinking session with my college friends. That time, I'm not an SFC yet. I could walk straight but my but brain can't. I know that he was about to approach me. I suddenly knelt down, closed my eyes, clasped my hands, and pretendened to pray. I was suprised to find out that he would officiate the mass that I was going to attend. I tried to concentrate but I can't because of my dizziness. During the homily, tinamaan ako. He was pointing out to the youth. Sam said this with conviction, "Sana kayong kabataan, hindi lang puro gimik, 'inom', bisyo ang ina-atupad niyo. Sana mag-serve din kayo." That time, I told myself, "Nang-aasar ba 'to? Para kasing mag-aaklas." After the mass, I went home.
The next one just happened yesterday. Before he blessed our house, we ate breakfast. I accidentally spilled a glass of water. I loudly said "Ay! #@$%!. He was shocked and my mom's eyes rolled. I know that she was embarassed for me. That moment, I cringed. "Sorry, I'm only human." I said in a 'jologs' way. When I told this to some of my friends, they bursted with laughter. I don't know why, it's just so weird.

At this point, I know where I stand. I know that I would just be a distant admirer forever. Ayoko nang ipilit ang sarili ko sa kanya because he belongs to God. For sure, this feeling will pass. But, I like what I'm feeling right now, so might as well, enjoy it di ba? The advantage of being distant is having less chances of screwing things up. The best thing about this is that I could blog about him anytime I want and I would never had to worry that he would read this. Kasi nga,hindi kami close.

Things are better this way. After all, I don't want to have a pinoy version of El Crimen del Padre Amaro. Bad yun.

Kasi Naman

For the past few weeks, I realized that God challenged me.

I kept saying to myself and to my friends that "I don't want to get distracted by a person". Until, this guy enters the scene and caught my attention. I won't go over the details because I made a previous entry about him already.
Now, I understand why I'm not comfortable with the idea of getting attracted with someone. Here are my reasons: 1)I've had experiences in the past when a certain guy played with my feelings. 2) I fear that they might be taken already (I hope not). 3) I don't want these things to happen again.

What I really wanted to happen is to get close to him, without any romantic overtures. I don't know if this would really happen, bahala na si God. Gosh, I wanted to get over him so badly.

But this time, I'll do this differently. I'll face this with courage. After all, God is here to back me up.

Si Ate Nina

I'm writing this entry after we gave our surprise celebration to her. Her birthday is actually next week, but we decided to celebrate it earlier.

I can't help but feel happy for this person, Ate Nina is like a sister that I never had. I would never forget what she said to me when she asked me to continue the last four talks of CLP (Christian Life Program). During that time, I tried to withdraw from the community because of what took place in our family. I felt that I don't deserve to be part of that group. Needless to say, I don't have a face to show them.
I've missed four talks, and that time, I thought that, wala siguro silang pakialam.
Apparently, I was wrong.

Ate Nina texted me and asked if we could meet at one place. I gave it a chance.
She asked me if I'm willing to continue CLP. I told her that I was not really certain about it. I cannot forget what she said to me at that moment, "Sayang. Alam mo, gusto ka namin kasama." I was moved when I heard these words. I was not close to her that time, but I knew that she was a sincere person. Then, I also realized that you would seldom hear these from people. I find it hard to trust people because of my past experiences. But with her, I took the chance.

That time,I saw God's human face through her.
Earlier, when we did our 'honoring', I realized how she touched other people. In other words, she is a blessing to us. Kuya Vheen, her boyfriend ,told us that of all the things that we said to her, he knew that he is with the right girl. If I'm going to hear this line from a special someone, I would probably be the happiest person on earth.

A kind-hearted person like Ate Nina deserves to be treated like a princess for a day.

Home

They say "Home" is where you feel a sense of acceptance and I don't think I have it. For years, I tried to justify that my family was just not expressive,that they love me and accept me for who I really am.
I guess, I was wrong because I feel the brokenness now. Even if Dad moved abroad, I can still feel the pain that their separation caused us. I can vividly recall when he became cold to me on my graduation. When I tried to embrace him, he moved away. I tried to reach out to him, but he was so distant. I was never treated as a Daddy's girl, he never told me that I was beautiful.
Well, I don't say that my Dad is the only one responsible for their separation. My Mom too, has her share. She tried to be perfect mom or the superwoman. She often equates love on material things. She may be hands on to us when we were young,but I was emotionally detached to her. I find it hard to express my emotions, because whenever I do so, she would often say that I wallow myself in pity.
I grew up having a love-hate relationship with her. It was really confusing. There were times when I feel secured. But, when she scold me or beat me up, I got scared.
She has this high of hitting us whenever she got pissed or angry. Dad too, did this to us. For them, it's a way of discipline. For me, it was a form of abuse because it causes trauma.
I'm not claiming that I'm a perfect child. In fact, I'm way far from it. I admit that I also have my shortcomings. But, there's one thing that I didn't do, I never rebelled against them. I didn't do drugs or any thing that could damage myself. Instead, I sought help from God because I can't do this alone.
I believe that he has a way to make things straight.
I wanted to experience what it feels like to belong in a family someday because I believe that a person's greatest asset is to have group of people that affirms you.
I wanted to feel like home again.

Dyahe

"Dyahe" in Filipino means something that makes a person uncomfortable to reveal.

This word would be apt for this entry.

Right now, I have something that I wanted to share but felt uneasy to do so. I wanted to tell this to my friends, but I'm still itching to write it. What I'm going to disclose in this article was probable appropriate for teenagers. But for people in my age, I don't know.

For the past few weeeks, I caught myself attracted to this guy. The last time I saw him, I told myself, "He looks nice." I secretly glance at him from afar because I don't want to be mistaken as a "psycho" or "stalker".
I've had awkward moments with him and sometimes I wish that he would forget me soon.I've had bad experiences with those guys that I used to like. And this time, I wish that it won't happen again.

What makes me "dyahe" to reveal this is because he's ten years older than me. Feeling
ko nakak-karma ako. Before, I use to make "okray" about guys who were a decade older than me. I kept on telling my friends,"Ayoko yan, atat na yan magpa-kasal".
Shucks! I never thought that I would get attracted to this guy. How I wish that my emotions would change quickly, or sana na lang wala akong pakiramdam.
I admit, I want to get close to him or have the chance to work with him because I want to know this guy without romance. I find it easier to get close to a guy if I'm not attracted.

At this point, I wanted to talk to him. But I can't. "Dyahe" kasi if I'm going to make the first move. The best thing that I could do is blog about him. Mabuti na lang at hindi niya ako masyadong kilala. I'm sure that he won't read this.
.

Whatever happens it the future, bahala na si Batman

About jerks

Indeed, things happen for a reason, probably to make us more mature.

I've had an awkward teenage life. I was the one who got teased a lot for being a wall flower. If my other classmates, would waive for popularity. I, on the other hand would not get bothered. You could see me in the corner, reading a book. That's how geeky I was back then. I was not a big joiner, so my social skills were limited.
Most of the guys, picked me up.(even those that I liked). I know the drill. First, they become friendly or pretended that they were attracted to you. When you got caught in their bait, they will drop you like a hot potato. They will make you feel stupid.
I've had countless experience on this and it took me a long time to figure out how I'm going to protect myself from them.

Last week, I had the chance to prove myself that I would not get trapped with them.
There was this guy. He was attractive, but not actually my type. He was a talent of a major network and making a name for himself. A struggling artist thing, so to speak. From the start, I know that he would not notice me. Apparently, I was wrong.
I was surprised when he texted me. Our conversation was one question, one answer. I was even more surprised when he asked me If I drink. It was awkward for me because we were not that close that he would text me like that. Sure, it was casual for him, but not for me. I told him the truth that I seldom drink because I'm allergic to alcohol. The good thing is that he was cool about it.

After responding to his question, I felt relieved. For the first time, I didn't pretend. I went straight to the point and it was not offensive on his part. Then, I realized that I was no longer alluded to their charms. I can easily sense if a guy is after something from me. Well, too bad for them because, I beg to differ. I'm conservative but not naive. For once, I proved to them that I was not gullible as I used to be.One thing I've learned is that most men are stupid and they want the obvious. I feel sorry for these guys.

I'm sure there were still good guys out there, but I'm afraid that they were rare.

My Cebu Experience

I've attended ICON last Friday at Mandaue, Cebu and it was truly a memorable experience.

It was my first time to step go to that city, so everything was an Adventure. I can say that all of the travels that I've done, this was, so far, the most enjoyable one.

Pictures would be posted soon.

Gossip Girl

I hope that this girl would get a life.

Ten years ago, she has victimized other students by spreading nasty rumors about them. She seemed to be domineering those days. One of the b*****est thing that she could do is to turn your friend against you, or worse, the guy that you like. Yes,she could pull some strings to get what she wanted. I admit, these things happened to me. Needless to say, I was one of her victims.

In this entry, I will not reveal her name or post her real picture because I know that it won't do any good. Or worse, it could be taken against me. Just because she did something to me, that doesn't mean that i'll do the same. Who wants her photo posted in public and become a subject of ridicule? No one, right?

I just wanted to express my thought about her and other gossip mongering people. I know that I need to understand why they behave the way they do. Probably, they yearn to get noticed or they were bored with their lame lives. Whatever the reason is, I won't let them victimize me again. It's not healthy. Really.